happy new year!

Here are my plans for 2014:

1. No fast food in January.
2. Write more, either here or elsewhere.
3. Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day.
4. Connect with a friend at least once a week.
5. Be kind to myself, relax and find joy in simple pleasures.
6. Save ahead for planned expenses like vacation, next Christmas, etc.
7. Refine my morning routine; be on time to work.
8. Cut out time-wasters. (Unsubscribe!)
9. Do one thing each day that will not need repeated.
10. Focus on my marriage. We are so, so worth it.

top 5: November 30th

Here are my top five six things about November 30th:

1. It's my Papa's birthday. Today Oliver randomly sang Happy Birthday while we were playing after dinner.
2. It's the last day of NaBloPoMo. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved. It's definitely pushed my limits, and caused me to see blog posts in daily life. I think I've done pretty well though, at accomplishing my goal. I've grown a bit as a writer, meaning (to me) I'll take those seemingly insignificant moments and really analyze what they mean(to me), what they could mean (to me), and learn from them.
3. This morning we woke up to the first snowfall of the season. Oliver was pretty darn cute about it, with the excitement in his voice saying, "Whatzat mama?" and "it's snow! ooooh wow!"
4. (Tomorrow) it can officially be Christmastime around here. It's not just about "respecting the turkey" but also about trying to squeeze the last bit of fall fun I can out of the year. Plus, trying to put off the seasonal affective disorder (which I'm sure I have). It gets really cold in Cleveland.
5. I did a bit of shopping online today, but didn't meet my goal of being done with Christmas shopping before December. I do still plan to do almost all of our gift-buying online this year, but I better get on the ball (so we I don't end up obsessively tracking shipments due to arrive on December 21st and freaking the fuck out because it would really suck to have no gifts to give and have to explain that I'm a loser and didn't order them in time so here's a printed-out-from-Amazon picture of what we bought you). Not that that's happened. (But almost.)
6. Numbered list, run-on sentences, and overuse of parentheses to end National Blog Posting Month? WIN.

random crap from today

• I got to leave work an hour early today. There's nothing quite like starting your 4-day weekend an hour early. I stopped for wine.
• Nick is working Friday, so he only sort-of has a long weekend. He's making butt-loads of money that day though, so I'm thankful his job gave him the option of going in to work, but I'm sorry he has to get up stupid early on Friday.
• At work today I put together a marketing piece soliciting Black Friday sales. The shame.
• Operation: Reorganize Bedtime is starting right now. Nick is putting Ollie to bed tonight. The hope is that switching things up will break this habit he's gotten into of not wanting to be put down awake.
• Tomorrow morning, I'm baking up some semi-famous cream cheese cookies. I got the recipe from my Mother in Law. This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad she gave me the recipe. I'm sad she won't be with us to eat them.
• Before bed tonight, we played with Mr. Potato Head. I remember cracking up laughing as a little kid, singing the song from the commercial but changing the words, "Mr. Potato Head, and his bucket of FARTS, buckets of fun... for everyone!
• Last night I went to my grandma's brother's funeral. Cancer sucks. Also: it's weird being in a room full of people, looking around and seeing the family resemblance, looking at photos on a slideshow and seeing your parents and grandparents looking SO YOUNG, and yet not really recognizing anyone. I'm grateful to have such a large, loving family, but it really is so odd to have a second cousin (my dad's cousin) who looks more like me than any of my first cousins.
• I got an email from my aunt today. She was replying to my last blog post, and she said some very nice things about my writing. Thank you, Auntie M. (Auntie Em! Auntie Em!)
• Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. (That large family I mentioned above is from Tennessee, so shut up, I'm legit.)

things I haven't mentioned yet

Here's five things you might not know (and one you probably don't care to know):

1. I love rye toast with lots of butter. Really, I love all breakfast foods, just not in the morning. Eggs in the am? No thanks.
2. I don't like shampoo and/or conditioner that's too heavy... if I can still feel the slimy-ness in my hair after I've rinsed, I'll rinse again. It creeps me out.
3. I don't wear make up. Like Ever. For a special occasion, I'll slap on some eyeshadow and mascara, but that's it. No foundation, concealer, lip gloss... nothing.
4. Sometimes I pick my nose without thinking about it. At first I'm all: eww I'm gross. Then I'm all: man, I hope no one saw me do that.
5. I'm afraid of deer. They're just so... jumpy. This is the time of year they get extra jumpy too. I'd rather deal with a spider or a slug or some other weird nasty thing than a deer.

Ollie's top 5 movies

amirite?

Ollie's Current Favorite Movies:

1. Toy Story (& Toy Story 3) He doesn't really care for Toy Story 2. Anyway: I took picture of the sky outside my office not long ago, because it reminded me of Toy Story.
2. Cars (& Cars 2)
3. Rio - the birdy movie. 
4. Madagascar & Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - these are interchangeable and can also at any time be referred to as "Alex the Lion Movie"
5. Finding Nemo

Source: funri.com via Sara on Pinterest

Here are some things that can be regularly heard around my house:

• How long is this going to TAKE?
• Just take a look at this right here, loverboy.
• Is it getting DARK OUT??
• Good God, girl. You huge.
• Birds versus monkeys!!!!
• Noggin!
• You ARE the bomb!

Actually, just rest assured that if you hear me or Nick say something and then giggle like 5 year olds, it's probably a quote from a movie intended for 5 year olds.

mornings suck

For your consideration:

• 6:20 - alarm goes off
• 6:28 - snooze
• 6:36 - get out of bed, go pee, choose clothes (I should start laying them out at night, huh.)
• 6:45 - shower. get dressed. blow dry my bangs (no time to do the whole head), brush my teeth
• 7:00 - my favorite part of the morning. I open the bathroom door and I hear: "hi, Mommy!" Change diaper, blow raspberries, change clothes
• 7:15 - head to the kitchen. Get Ollie some milk, take the dog out, pour coffee, pile into the car.
• 7:30 - drop Ollie off at daycare. Most days I set him down and he says "Mommy go to work? Bye Mommy!" I make him come back to the door and give me hugs and kisses, then he's on his way.
• Drive to work.

So the other day, while driving to work, I started laughing at myself. Like, if people in passing cars saw me... they'd think I was nuts.

Alone, in my car, LOLing so much I nearly had tears in my eyes.

Why? There I am, hands at 10 and 2, eyes on the road, focused on traffic... listening to some radio show folks talking about some fashion something or another.

And I can't remember what color shirt I'm wearing.

I do everything from 6:30 am to about 8:00 am on complete and total auto-pilot. It took a while for me to map out that list, trying to remember the order that I do things!

top 5: things I love about the internet

Pinterest

1. Pinterest! Not only is there a ton of cool stuff to look at and give me ideas... (like birthday party stuff,  cute clothes, recipes, and decorating ideas) this is a great site for keeping track of "that one thing I saw on that one website but I didn't remember to add the page to favorites and what was it again?" For example, I get emails all the time about "healthy snacks for kids!" and "quick, easy, super simple on-the-go breakfasts!" and instead of saving the emails from now until oblivion, when I clear out my inbox and delete everything, I take a few minutes to flip through them and pin the ones that appeal to me. (If you'd like an invite to Pinterest, let me know.)


2. Online shopping! I never make time to go to the store for random crap, like a planner or a new pair of shoes, so online shopping, especially Amazon with their free super saver shipping, is way convenient for me. Plus great stores like Old Navy have good, easy return policies for stuff that doesn't fit, so I don't get all anxious about returning something if it's too small or ugly in person or whatever. I also have an Amazon Wish List which is like pinterest in that I add stuff so I don't forget what it was that I saw, but people can buy me stuff! I have lists of stuff for me & Oliver, so no one ever has to guess what either of us would like for our birthdays or Christmas. I also have a wish list to remind me what it was I wanted to get for other people! Last year we did almost all of our Christmas shopping on Amazon.


3. Swagbucks! Speaking of Amazon, I have gotten $25 worth of gift codes since I signed up with Swagbucks.com at the end of April. And I have about $25 more waiting for me to cash in! It's so easy to use: you earn for searching, watching online videos, I pretty much just spend a few clicks a day... and not only can you get gift cards, they also have a store full of stuff you can spend your Bucks on.
   


4. Blogging - I have a few great girls that I call real friends now, thanks to this little blog. Plus, it's fun for me to think up new things to write about, and just put stuff out there that I enjoy... like Foo Fighters Fridays. Is it weird that I visit my own blog sometimes and just scroll through and watch videos and stuff? Plus this is as good a place as any to post pictures of my kid for my mom and aunts to see. Because he's really what it's all about anyway. :)
   
   
5. Gmail. OK, this seems a little obvious, but I really do like Gmail way better than Yahoo. It took some getting used to, because it wasn't as pretty or something? And the "conversations" thing where stuff is all grouped together? Weird at first, but now I love it, especially the chat feature - it's how I keep in touch with my girl in TX and my dude in NY. Eh, Top 5 lists can be tough.

Angina's tough.

accountability

So. Sometimes, the state of my house has been downright embarrassing. And not like: There's dog hair on the couch! but like: I think that's mold in the toilet bowl. Gross.

It seems like the only thing I really made an effort to keep up on was Oliver's room. He always has fresh blankets, clean clothes, things organized. No matter how lazy I am and how bad we let this place get, Ollie and his stuff are always clean and tidy. (Well, in the interest of full honesty, that's not always true of his high chair.) Point is, I never let my tendency to do the bare minimum of cleaning reflect on him.

Okay, this is starting to sound like we NEVER clean the house, which is not true. It's just that, like I said, we'd do the bare minimum. Laundry gets done when one of us runs out of clean underwear. Pots and pans get washed as they're needed.

That is, until now. Us Panzas had a heart to heart, and decided we needed to knock it off.

Being frustrated and overwhelmed all weekend because the house was a pigsty? Because we were super busy last weekend and now there's god-knows-what papers and stuff stacked on the dining room table? Because we get down to play on the rug come up with two weeks worth of dog hair?

Total bullshit. We felt sad, you know? Like what kind of example are we setting here? How do we teach our son responsibility when there's dishes piled in the sink and the refrigerator full of forgotten leftovers?

It has been four days since we hit our wall. We talked, decided, resolved, and got motivated and organized and shit. Not including last weekend, when I cleaned the shower, in only four days worth of weeknights, the house feels clean.

accountability. boom.

With our list posted on the fridge, we know what our chores are for the day. Just the simplest thing, breaking down everything that needs done so it doesn't pile up on us, and doing a little bit each day (with some catch-up) we're already feeling lighter, happier, and more like adults.

So, lovely friends, what do YOU do to keep up on the housework? Am I missing anything?

the past month

I have been loving living my life.

Things got kinda crazy there, with planning Oliver's birthday party, and then BAM, HI Thanksgiving a week later! But, you guys. I am freakin' HAPPY.

So, since I last posted:

• the weekend after the big leap he came down with his first ear infection - but it didn't affect his demeanor one bit!




Please focus on the sweet grinning baby boy and not
my inappropriate dog in the background.

• I turned 31 years old. Bought new pants.
• Nick broke his toe - but it healed up just in time for "the" birthday party.
• Oliver got a bunch of awesome toys for his birthday - including his "first" (read: ONLY) 4-wheeler! More party pictures coming - but how could I not post this face?
• Winter came to Cleveland. December 1st it started snowing like hell. News people predicted Snowmageddon! In reality it wasn't that bad... but maybe I'm just a little tougher than the whiny pants?

• We attended two company holiday parties in the same weekend... mine on Friday night, Nick's on Saturday. And on that Saturday night, another girl and I were wearing the same dress. It was totally a sitcom-moment, where I berate people for not telling me quickly enough that *of course* I looked better in it! And I did... see?
• I did all my Christmas shopping on Amazon. It was the shit.
• We got his pictures taken for his birthday and Christmas all in the same session. Here are the birthday ones... I'm holding on to the Christmas ones until I get to the official birthday recap. Nyah nah.

• He started walking, kinda, but yes really taking real steps. About a week before Christmas. He gets so stinkin proud of himself when he does it too.

OK, that's all I'm posting for now. I just wanted to put these awesome pictures out there, and give a little update. But, I've got nothing to bitch about so this post is short & sweet. My husband is awesome, my kid is awesome, I'm busy being happy!

blog game extraordinaire

Yippee Skippy, I got tagged in two blog games!

Once by Cici, who is my homegirl. Go visit giggle giggle hiccup, you guys! Rules: answer the questions. Tag 5 people to answer 5 new questions.

Then by Mrs. B at messily ever after! Click it! You won't be disappointed! This one didn't have "rules" just answer questions and tag some more peoples. This works out beautifully for me, so I can just tag all the same poor saps.

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From Cici:

(1) If you could have a guy's mind for just a minute...what question or piece of understanding would you want to take away from the experience? What is it really like to walk around with something in the way all the time? Like, when I was pregnant, it felt like Oliver's head was getting in the way, making me walk funny. How do men walk with penises. Final answer.

(2) What was your favorite childhood place of travel? um, I guess Georgia, since we went there so many times (every summer) and my aunt/uncle/cousin lived in a development with a POOL! Whoa! Awesome!

(3) Can you pat your head and run your belly at the same time? (DO IT!) Yes I can.

(4) If your life had followed a different path from what it is right now what do you think you would be doing right now? Or perhaps, what do you wish you could have done perhaps in another lifetime? I'm going to take the easy answer here, but it's the truth. I really can't imagine my life, if it had been different, being any better than it is right now. I love my family, I am so lucky to be Oliver's mom. I mean, seriously.

(5) What is one goal that you've set for yourself to complete in the next year? Ugggggg I should have goals, shouldn't I? But I can't come up with anything that doesn't involve doing less than I do now. Ha!

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From Mrs. B:

1.As a child, what did you want to be when you "grew up?" Are you doing it now? I vividly remember telling my parents I wanted to be a bus driver. No, I am not a bus driver, but I do still think it would be cool. Those are some great hours...

2.What is your favorite, quick go-to recipe on a busy evening? Um, ok. Let's say I had to cook for some reason, like Nick is feeling sick. I would probably make brinner (breakfast for dinner). Pancakes, or even easier, waffles! Bacon & eggs. Quick & easy!

3.Do you burn candles in your home? If so, what is your favorite scent? I don't burn candles... but I used to. I actually have one of those Scentsy things now. My favorite scent usually falls into the fruit category... lemon is good, or a good clean laundry scent.

4.What was the best vacation you can remember? My honeymoon pretty much rocked. Vegas, baby!

5.If you have a wedding album, how often do you look at it? Where is it stored? Oooh I never finished (or started) on our wedding album. I have a stack of stuff with which to scrapbook our trip, but it never happened. Now I'm going to get in trouble. Thanks a lot.

6.What is the thing your treasure most about motherhood? Oliver has so many people who love him, which is so, so great. He's awesome, and funny and adorable, and the best thing about being is mom is that he's MINE. (of course, he's ours, honey...) He comes home with me, gives me bedtime hugs, smiles at me in the morning. He only has one mom, and it's ME. MINE.

7.What is your favorite day of the week and, why? Saturday, easy. 24 hours of hanging out with my guys, with no Sunday night blues.

8.Are you doing anything to be more "green" or earth-friendly? Er, uh, we recycle! We part-time cloth diaper!

***********************************************************************************

Alright, now here are my questions for my peoples, which are Jess, Christina, and Diana.

1. What are your top 5 all-time favorite movies? (Also, what's your favorite "guilty pleasure" movie that you could watch 100 times and never get tired of it even though everybody thinks it's silly?)

2. If you could go back and teach your former (younger) self one lesson, what would it be?

3. I just realized I picked three girl moms, so I'll ask... what situation or challenge have you come across where you thought "man, this would be different if I'd had a boy!"

4. What kind of camera do you have? (Do you love it? Want to throw it out the window?)

5. What do you usually do to celebrate your birthday? Do you have a favorite birthday memory?

6. Tell me something I didn't know about you/your family/your blog/whatever!

bye bye breastpump

In June, we started supplementing my breastmilk with formula on a daily basis because we started making bigger bottles since he was chugging every drop we were sending to daycare.

Here were my initial, irrational thoughts:

• what if he thinks it tastes funny
• what if he gets constipated
• what if this makes my supply tank
• I thought there'd be more bullet points here

Here are the thoughts I had a few minutes later:

• at some point, everyone goes through this
• which not only means I'm not alone
• we made it over 6 months!
• how funny can it really taste?
• the kid could probably use some variety
• it's just formula. there are worse things that could happen to him...
• like he could be hungry!

What all this means is that I didn't my mind feeling guilty at the end of a workday when I came up short.

And he's fine. OMG NO WAY. And I'm OK with it too, because I have to be and why not?

****************************************************************************************

Now that he's almost one and hasn't breastfed in about two weeks?

• He's still sleeping through the night - seriously, this kid is an awesome sleeper. I know it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he's not nursing anymore, but his sleeping habits didn't change as he weaned, so we got that going for us, which is nice.
• Solids have been a fun adventure! More posts on food to come, I promise!
• I can drink a cup of coffee at 5 pm without repercussions
• Bye bye, breastpump!
• Hello, wine!
• He's still such a playful, happy guy
• I definitely still have my moments where I get all sad about it and miss that "special time" we used to have together, but I think about it less often than I thought I would.

Like I said before, I never really planned on full time nursing, it was just something I figured I'd try. But I loved it, and wouldn't trade that time we had for anything.

***************************************************************************************

So now, we look forward. My baby is becoming a little boy, and he's so sweet and smart and funny that I'm actually feeling myself letting go of the past and maybe even living in the moment!



Oliver "Squiggy" Panza

in his first highchair



got issues?

Here are my issues: September, 2010.

1.   I'm Cranky. With a capital C. I don't know what my problem is lately I've been missing Oliver. I mean, duh, you all know that. I'm sure at least part of it is a normal working mom thing, but I miss him terribly.


my angel


I've gone through all the logical excuses: PMS? Probably. I think. I'm not on the pill & forgot how to keep track other than with pills. Breastfeeding hormone swing? Possibly... as with everything else boob-related, I'm sure there's a mood-swing phase I have to go through while weaning, and it's officially been 3 full days since the last time Oliver nursed. I haz a big, big sad over this, but I can't dwell on it, because I can't see that doing any good for anybody.

I feel like I missed this big window of when staying home would have been "necessary" or "for the best" and now am starting to just feel selfish over the whole thing.

2.   I think I may have a body image problem. About two years ago, if you had asked me what my ideal weight goal would be, I'd have said 135 pounds. That's the weight I thought I should be... if I weighed that, I'd feel good about myself. Right now, I weigh 133 pounds. Yet when I look in the mirror I don't see any difference. I mean, yeah, my clothes were FALLING OFF (seriously, I needed some new pants because I tripped over them so many times.) I now have two pairs that fit & are acceptable for work that are size 6. I'm not bragging, just saying, because I still don't see that version of myself I thought I would.

I'm thinking maybe I don't see it because I didn't work for it. I mean, after I delivered Oliver, the weight just came off, and kept coming off. I couldn't eat much at the end of my pregnancy, and for a while after I forgot both how to eat and to eat period (I know this is common.) So I guess with my new eating style and the "extra" 500 calories burned per day producing breastmilk I just slimmed down somehow. People comment all the time on how skinny I am, but I guess the problem is that (most of the time) I just don't feel attractive.

3. I'm having trouble being motivated for more than one thing at a time. I'm planning Oliver's birthday party, making sure I spend QT with Nick, tackling debt, blogging, keeping up on the house, but it's like one thing per day. If I spend time thinking about the party, then I feel like I'm not giving Nick enough time & attention. If I spend a Saturday with my guys, just soaking in the family, I feel like I should have carved out some time to clean or pay bills. And blogging ALWAYS feels like a guilty pleasure, no matter how supportive my awesome husband is.

baby transport: reviews

Here are all the different ways we've transported the baby boy around.

1: Peanut Shell sling 2: Moby wrap 3: Snugli carrier 4: Graco Alano stroller

1. The sling was the first carrier I bought, thinking it seemed easiest, being one piece with no buckles or tying involved. And at first, it was. Until he got to be more than like 10 pounds, then it was OUCH. My shoulder and back hurt within like 15 minutes. Now that he's almost 20 pounds, I can actually stick him in sideways sitting up and it's not so bad. I get a good hour before it starts to hurt. I throw this one in the diaper bag just to have on hand for situations where the stroller is not practical.

2. The Moby. Ahhh, the Moby. The internets are all abuzz with adoring fans of this wrap. I've read a couple blogs where the moms actually said it saved their sanity! A must have! So I got one.

Moby: Comfy, but also a PITA

For me, eh. Not so much. I mean, it's great when you get him in there, but it's a giant Pain In The Ass to tie. I thought I just needed practice, I mean, once I tied this thing up a few times it would get easier, right? Eh, I guess so. But it's just so MUCH fabric... like, you wrap it around your middle, cross in the back, and cross in the front and tie a knot. It makes this pouch for him to sit in, eventually. I do like it, it's really comfortable, but it's just not practical for my life. We used it to walk around the yard, but I can't imagine trying to do this in the grocery store parking lot, and when we're out and it's hot it seems like all the fabric makes us both sweatier than if I were to just carry him.

3. The Snugli carrier I got as a hand-me-down gift from my cousin. It's kind of intimidating with all the straps and buckles, but once you figure out what goes where (like, if you had the box or instructions or something) it's a cinch. This is the only one Nick will wear. We both like it, it's pretty easy to adjust from him to me, and it's pretty comfortable.

I think Ollie likes it, too.

In Case You Missed It or Didn't Click To Enlarge:

(lol)

OUTSIDE VOICE

4. Last but not least, the stroller. Pros: It handles easy, use with carseat, has diaperbag storage underneath, cupholders, reclines for when he's sleepy, sunshade with peek-a-boo window, baby snack tray (great for feeding on the go, cuz mall highchairs = ick). Cons: heavy, must have SUV because getting this thing out of a car trunk would be stupid, takes more than one hand to open & put kid in, I don't care what they say, not always practical (crowded areas, rough roads).

Really nice for when it's too hot out for "babywearing" or if you're going to be somewhere for a long time, or if you/your kid aren't into being all up in each other's grill. Or if you have to eat. Because seriously, Grabby McGrabberson will make you share your french fries if he's 5 inches from your face.

The NinjaPanza Verdict/Smackdown:

For summer: Stroller FTW

Other seasons: I'll use the Snugli & stroller for walks this fall, and probably buy a wagon for Halloween.
(Unless I win the lottery and can somehow afford an Ergo because those are dope.)

on the fence

in more ways than one.

#1

• pumping at work may be coming to an end. I'm not getting very much any more... and it's hard to justify the time commitment. (just for me, not anything to do with other people at work)
• also, pumping sucks. It's weird and not fun and I will be glad when I don't have to do it anymore. I'm pretty much just down to once a day now, at lunch.
• that said, I'm not giving up nursing in the morning and at night. Don't have to, don't want to.
• so, Oliver's 8 1/2 months old and I guess this is the start of weaning. I'm on the fence between ok with that and sad that my baby is growing up, which I am very much would be at any age.
• looks like there's less of this in my near future





• and more of this - which is OK because I love seeing my two best guys hanging out

#2

• we've been talking a lot lately about finding a way for me to quit my job
• I know lots of working moms think about this - but it's gotten to the point where, for me, there's almost no other option. You'd think that after 6+ months it would get a little easier to drop him off at daycare, but it hasn't for me. It just feels wrong.
• I still tear up every single Monday morning.
• so we're working on scaling back monthly payments as much as possible. We've cancelled the cable, consolidated some bills, and traded in the truck for a pretty Trailblazer with a lower payment

• just a few more steps and we'll be there...
• this is the (second) most exciting and scary thing I've ever planned on doing
• I'm on the fence about whether to fully throw myself into being excited and planning for this - or being extremely cautious, not getting my hopes up because what if it doesn't work out?
• what if we plan and plot and scrimp and save and we still can't afford it? what if I quit for a few years and then can't find a job when I need one again? what if I feel like I've missed out on something - am I giving up too much? I don't really consider my job a career, but at least it's a work history with no gaps...
• what if I'm not as good at being home full time as I think I'll be? I don't have delusions of being able to keep a perfect house with zero dust and all that... but what if I still feel like something's missing
• I can't imagine that, really... anything would be better than missing him all day long while coming to a workplace that I have to try so hard to get any enjoyment from
• more like: what if I feel like I'm not living up to expectations (whose? mine?) what if I feel inadequate?
• I need to get all of this doubt out of my head and just focus
• who wouldn't want to spend all day with this guy?

#3

• So. Now that I've unleashed the crazy (and my boob) on all of you
• I bit the bullet and joined one of those blog ranking sites!
• the more times you vote for me, the higher my link gets in the list.
• which would (in theory) lead to my little corner of the internet being viewed by more people.
• I used to have some regular readers from the Philippines, I wonder what happened to them?
• anyway, Team NinjaPanza!
• the site allows you to vote once per day - the button is to the right there, underneath my "followers"
• click, please?

a few reasons why I love my son's dad

So, a while back, I mentioned a draft of a post I had brewing listing the 100 reasons why I love my son's dad. While I'm sure there are more than 100 teeny tiny specific reasons, I've realized that a lot of them can be lumped into categories or situations.  

So, in honor of our first Father's Day (yes, I KNOW it was LAST week, this is the minimum amount of time I need to get pictures out of the camera and into the blog) here are the top 10.

1. The Work Dads. He's got his own little support system of other dads that he's friends with at work. Baby's got a runny nose & slight fever... is he sick or teething? Ask the work dads. When should we start feeding him solids twice a day? Three times? Ask the work dads.
2. He fits right in with my family. I know we all have families we'd consider a little crazy or unconventional, but seeing him jump right in with all the aunts and grandmas makes my heart happy. My mom loves him, my grandmas love him
3. He always knows how to make me feel like a million bucks - I get massages, there is a text waiting for me every morning "I love you! How did you sleep?" and throughout the day "How's pumpeen?"and dinner every night (for a time, while we were still getting used to our weekday routine it was even delivered to the couch).
4. This man was born to be a dad. Watching them together makes my heart explode into a million pieces, reform and then melt into a puddle on the floor. True story.


• Oliver's was the first diaper he'd ever changed, and now he doesn't think twice when it's diaper time. 
• He's better at getting boogers with the blub-sucker-thing. (Aspirator. I know the word, it's just more fun to say booger-sucker-dealy.)
• He can make the kid LAUGH. Like the really good bubble up from the gut kind. Even a few months ago (was it really only a few months ago) when the most we got was an errant smile - Nick was the first to get those smiles on command. EARTHQUAKE!!! (The "earthquake" is where you lay the baby on his changing table, grab opposite corners of the pad & wiggle.)


5. We have that couple-with-mental-telepathy thing. The kind that can get annoying to others if we do it too much, like finishing each other's sentences and my only having to say EPIC! or BAZINGA! and he'll fall over laughing. This just makes life more fun & easier on both of us, I think. Like when a to-do list includes things like "pee floor" & "piz/sal" we don't have to question what it means.
6. There's a lovely division of labor in our house - and we don't get pissed at each other for slacking... parenting & our marriage come first... housework is way down on the list.


• I don't do floors - he doesn't do laundry
• I don't do yard work - he doesn't do the checkbook
• I don't do boogers - he doesn't do nail clipping 


7. Our nightly bottle ritual: bottles are already clean since he's made that part of his afternoon naptime chores. *love* I fill the Dr. Browns with a lovely breastmilk/formula cocktail, he washes the pump bottles. I get lids & write labels, he gets Ollie's lunch packed. Carrots or sweet potatoes for lunch tomorrow?





8. He's been making Ollie's baby food. It's so sweet how excited Nick gets over pureeing some pears. To quote: "He took one of my favorite things - food - and made it even better!" He's even started a garden. What's growing?


• Squash
• Zucchini
• Tomatoes
• Beans
• Peas
• Carrots


9. He does things that need to get done - I know everybody's all like: DUH! but it's so many little things that add up to me not having to keep this stuff in my brain. Not just things like the trash, it's replacing the bulb in the bathroom night light & keeping the dog's food & water full. Big, important, life-altering tasks.
10. I love my son's dad because we chose each other, he said I do, and without him I wouldn't have my little guy.

It's a major award!

My first blog award was given to me by Her Momma. Check out her blog, everybody. You think Ollie's hair is awesome? (You're right...) Check out baby Lovie... she is OMG THOSE CURLS SO CUTE OMG THOSE CHEEKS! So thanks for the award, Momma!

Now, to accept this award I have to list 10 interesting things about myself. I guess these are "honest" "scraps" about me. Oh, so clever.

1. I have never seen Toy Story or Monsters, Inc., which totally blows Nick's mind.. They are now in our Netflix queue.
2. I really dislike food with bones. It's not my idea of a good meal to have to work to get the meat off of chicken wings or ribs, and it makes me feel a little weird and caveman savage-like to be pulling the meat off of animal bones with my bare hands.
3. There has been much debate in our family about which way to face the silverware when loading the dishwasher. Both sides have their merits: Face up? It probably gets cleaner, not being shoved down in the basket thing all jammed together. Face down? After the cycle is done & it's time to unload your hands never touch the part you put in your mouth or the sharp knife blades. The world may never know. Hm. This is supposed to be "interesting" and also about me. Is it interesting enough for me to admit to flip flopping on this issue? No? Sorry then.
4. I hold my pee a lot. I don't know why.
5. My son is 7 months old today. I have some pink nail polish on my toes that is older than he is by one day. Klassy!
6. I met my husband in high school. Short version: he dated my friend, they broke up. We dated, and broke up. Seven years later we met up again and were instantly in love. It was like we had never broken up, except for the part where we learned from our past mistakes and realized what we wanted & didn't want in a relationship. We like to say we had to break up in order to get the stupid out of the way.
7. I have 2 step sisters. I never mention them because I never see them. And because I don't like them.
8. I am a huge Star Trek nerd. The Next Generation rules all. (HI, Mae!) I got this love from watching with my Dad and it's one thing that makes me feel close to him.
9. I am a football fan. A Cleveland Browns fan at that. There. I said it.
10. I probably could have come up with more interesting things, but I am a blog slacker and I wanted to get this post up for Tornado Tuesday! Hi, new friends! Here's a picture of my kid! 

OK, to finish up, I'm supposed to nominate other bloggers for this award. So, here are 5 folks I would like to know a little more about! 

• Laura at Cameron Crazy Mom
• Karey at Family of Five
• CiCi at Giggle, Giggle, Hiccup
• Mrs. Boom at The Story of Baby Boom
• Lisa at Queens Mama

Postpartum Thoughts

First, a picture.

Hey guys. Thanks for stopping by. Check out my chins.

Right then. So here are some post-partum thoughts, things I needed to get out of my head, and random updates... all neatly organized into numbered lists. You're welcome. *wink*

What I learned from being pregnant:

1. Multi-tasking is practically a thing of the past. As with pregnancy brain, mommy brain is a real killer.
2. Make lists. And let the small stuff go. Or better yet, let someone else do it. Speaking of which, I'm still working on the 100 reasons I love my son's dad post. Sure to bore everyone to death except for me and him.
3. Everything you think you know is wrong. What I mean to say is, when you think to yourself: "I'll never co-sleep" or "Breastfeeding in public is weird" You Just Don't Know Until You're Actually A Parent. I think this is what all those (still supremely annoying) people mean when they said "just wait...

Things I wish I could go back in time & change during my maternity leave:

1. I wouldn't have spent so much time thinking about going back to work. Seriously. I have guilt over how much time & energy I wasted thinking about how short my leave was & how hard it was going to be to go back.
2. I would've worried less about "getting him on a schedule" - as it turns out, that's not our parenting style. We're breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, it's my baby and I'll hold him if I want to type parents.
3. I should've worked on the baby book. Yes, I only had about 5 minutes a day I felt like I could just tune out, and usually spent that time zoned in front of the TV, but even a start on his book would feel like an accomplishment. And maybe I would've have felt less like I totally lost control.
4. I would not have left the house til I felt ready - doctor's appointment aside - no shopping at two weeks old, it's too stressful! He was so little! It's not that I totally freaked out or anything, but the whole time we were out it just felt WRONG. I couldn't WAIT to get home. Maybe I won't feel that way with the second kid (yes, it probably will happen)... maybe the scary "brand new" thing will wear off faster.
5. I really really wish I'd had a cosleeper like this one from Arm's Reach; basically it's a bassinet that attaches to the side of your bed... this would have made it so much easier to
6. Try out nursing in bed a little sooner... once he had the appropriate head control, of course. But even before that, having him within "arm's reach" probably would have made things feel less like a battle.

*Giving credit where credit is due - I'd like to give a big shout out to breastfeeding because a) I still have not (knock on wood) gotten a post partum period; and b) it requires an extra 500 calories (approximately) to produce breastmilk, which is directly responsible for my weighing less now than I did before becoming pregnant. Woot!

Stuff I loved & am glad I had around:

1. Cloth diapers for soaking up the barf - everyone says this but it is SO TRUE. All those cute little flannel blanket things are only good as blankets, they don't absorb for shit.
2. A diaper stacker - I heard these are considered a waste of $$, but ours came with the crib bedding set and I love it!
3. Colace - A must for post partum pooping. I took it toward the end of my pregnancy, and was glad to have it around after he was born because the thought of pooping made me cringe, and I didn't even have any tears! Just the idea made me go NO MORE PUSHING EVAR. And hey, speaking of bodily functions, take your first post-birth pee in the middle of your first post-birth shower! With all the gross leaking you're doing t's MUCH easier than the whole squirt bottle & blot dry (HA!) system.
4. Pampers Swaddlers New Baby diapers - they have the stripe on the front that turns from yellow to blue to let you know they're wet. Perfect for newbie parents who otherwise would just change the kid every ten minutes because "does that feel full to you?" "I don't know" "Well maybe that's why he's crying" "Hell, it's worth a shot!"
5. Gripe Water. He didn't like something I ate? He's having trouble working out that fart? He just plain needed something that tasted like fennel to distract him? I don't know what it is about this stuff but Oliver calmed down within minutes of getting a shot of the gripe water.

Stuff I bought because somebody said I was supposed to, but just turned out to be useless:

1. Itzbeen baby care timer - I must admit, it was good to have while in the hospital since the nurses are all the time asking how long ago did he eat? It can also let you know which breast you last nursed from, which is a good thing before your milk comes in and one isn't any softer than the other. But, you have to remember to flip the little marker, and it's basically nothing a rubber band on your wrist can't take care of. We've barely used it since we came home. I made me too obsessed with how many hours it's been since he did this or that, which like I said before, isn't really our parenting style anyway, and who cares if it's been 1/2 an hour or 2 hours since we last changed him? If it's dirty, you change it.
2. GIANT tub of vaseline - guess what? One tube of A&D has lasted way past the glob the stuff on his circ stage and having it around just recently caused me to MommyFAIL. I put it in his hair. It still hasn't come all the way out. But that's a story for another day.
3. GIANT bottle of alcohol - you guessed it - this didn't get used once. Cause apparently you're not supposed to mess with the cord stump. Like, at all.
4. Up & Up brand diapers from Target = FAIL. "Try the generic brand of diapers!" they said. "They're just as good as the overpriced name brands!" they said. I now say, "Bull." These dumb things have only a small strip on the front that the velcro tabs will stick to, so with a squirmy baby or a baby with a smaller waist these just don't work because you can't overlap the tabs. And even when they are stuck in the proper spot, it's not very strong velcro and can easily come open.
5. Walmart brand diapers suck too. The tabs weren't very stretchy and the diaper overall felt cheap and plasticy. Yes, thank you spell check, I know that's not a word. I don't remember any significant leaks or anything, but when he would wet them, they would become very stiff and it seemed like they "filled up" very quickly, almost like the diaper was going to bust open since it had no give.

Honorable mention: the Diaper Genie.

• Awesome because you can't smell anything coming out of there.
• Bogus because the refills are HELLA expensive.
• Awesome because Nick's friend from work bought it for us and he was so excited to get a gift from one of his dudes that he has faithfully emptied the thing.
• Kinda BS because the lid sometimes gets stuck and oh yeah it has a BIG SHARP METAL cutting thing inside and you have to remember to tie off the end when you empty it otherwise you're screwed.
• (Awesome because I haven't had to deal with this. See: delegation, first section.)

*For the record: Postpartum hair loss? I haz it. Apparently, it likes to start being noticable around 3 months post partum. Just in time for your kid to get really good at grabbing handfuls! Yippee!