the new and different things

Hi.

Wanna buy a house? We're selling the house (trying to at least), and looking for a new house with either an extra bedroom or a finished basement or both. Our current house is a ranch, which is great for old people and stuff but not so much for people that need storage or plan to have more than one child.

Because I'm pregnant ::confetti:: and a three bedroom with no basement is already not cutting it.

Yay baby! I'm 17 weeks along right now, and we're all very excited. Oliver insists it's a baby sister; I have no idea whatsoever. I do want to do some sort of pregnancy thing for this kid like I did with Ollie... at the very least because this will be my last pregnancy... so maybe I'll resurrect the quiz thing, that counts!

Speaking of which, 2 months later... how are the resolution/goals going?

Writing more has not really panned out. Obv. I have been reading more though, so I give myself half credit on that, since it involves my brain + words.

Right.

Let's see... I'm doing well with the water, and I'm pretty proud of myself for checking in with friends. I love my friends and it's easy to send a quick text or email and keep those connections strong. I'm also counting my mom time in here, because she's also important and good for me.

The money saving thing kinda went haywire because of the house, but I'm getting stuff in order. Including unsubscribing from a lot of tempting emails - even Zulily!

I have been kicking ass at work lately. I should have put "kick ass at work" instead of "be on time" and then I could be all YEAH, go me!

And I have been happily focusing on my marriage... especially since baby #2 is due in August and I'm prepared for the adding of another child to our family resulting in decreased QT with my husband. I've got something up my sleeve for our anniversary at the end of the month, so this is check plus.

So I'm happy, stressed, focused and hormonal. Life is grand. Till next time!

top 5: November 30th

Here are my top five six things about November 30th:

1. It's my Papa's birthday. Today Oliver randomly sang Happy Birthday while we were playing after dinner.
2. It's the last day of NaBloPoMo. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved. It's definitely pushed my limits, and caused me to see blog posts in daily life. I think I've done pretty well though, at accomplishing my goal. I've grown a bit as a writer, meaning (to me) I'll take those seemingly insignificant moments and really analyze what they mean(to me), what they could mean (to me), and learn from them.
3. This morning we woke up to the first snowfall of the season. Oliver was pretty darn cute about it, with the excitement in his voice saying, "Whatzat mama?" and "it's snow! ooooh wow!"
4. (Tomorrow) it can officially be Christmastime around here. It's not just about "respecting the turkey" but also about trying to squeeze the last bit of fall fun I can out of the year. Plus, trying to put off the seasonal affective disorder (which I'm sure I have). It gets really cold in Cleveland.
5. I did a bit of shopping online today, but didn't meet my goal of being done with Christmas shopping before December. I do still plan to do almost all of our gift-buying online this year, but I better get on the ball (so we I don't end up obsessively tracking shipments due to arrive on December 21st and freaking the fuck out because it would really suck to have no gifts to give and have to explain that I'm a loser and didn't order them in time so here's a printed-out-from-Amazon picture of what we bought you). Not that that's happened. (But almost.)
6. Numbered list, run-on sentences, and overuse of parentheses to end National Blog Posting Month? WIN.

most nights

Most nights I don't pick up the house even though I know I should, and that I'd feel better for having done it.

Most nights I don't do the dishes, even though I'd be better off in the morning not having to wash a coffee cup.

These are the few hours a day where we can be a couple, and lately we've needed it.

The holidays are going to be busy... we're already booked every weekend in December.

So the dishes can wait, and the toys can stay on the living room floor.

I'm going to snuggle with my husband and watch mindless TV for an hour.

a quick story

Tonight was supposed to be a regular night. I drove home from work and picked up my guys. The plan was to head out to Taco Bell for dinner and then go grocery shopping. The first part went well, Ollie had mostly potatoes for dinner, he called them french fries. I took him to the bathroom to change his diaper, while Nick went out to start the car. He got in on the passenger side, started the car, then decided to be chivalrous and pull the car around to the door of the restaurant. He got out, went around to the driver's side and

(I bet you can tell where this is going.)

the doors were locked. All of them. With the car running.

Ollie and I came out, him happily running through the rain, and Nick tells me we're locked out of the car.

To our credit, no one lost their shit. (Emotions have been running high 'round these parts, you know.) We stood there for a minute, me basically looking shocked, Nick saying "I don't know how this happened!" and Oliver still happily letting the rain fall on his face.

Luckily, Nick hadn't left his phone in the car, so we were able to call Uncle Bob down the street and he drove over to our house, went inside and got Nick's keys, and drove them out to Taco Bell to rescue us.

My sweet boy was so good the whole time, too. He played chase around the restaurant for a while, and then when more customers came in, he settled down and didn't disturb anyone. He was just excited that Uncle Bob was coming to see us at the restaurant.

This just goes to show you that family is not only who you're related to by blood, but also who you're related to by heart. We are lucky to have some really great people in our life.

My car was low on gas, so we went to the station to fill up. When I got back in the car, Oliver kept saying "go see Bob" and "go see Ellie" and "go see Bogey" (their dog). I thought that was a great idea, so instead of going to the grocery store and winding up with an overtired toddler by the end of the trip, off we went to visit.

He ended up awake past his bedtime anyway, what with the dog to play with and Aunt Ellie feeding him bananas, but hey... it was a good time and no one was cranky.

Thank God for family and friends who we call family!

the long weekend

It's glorious, and a pain in the ass all at the same time. There's such a build up to holiday weekends. Slugging through that last workday, with the promise three or four whole days off? Anticipation is the best...

I always expect so much out of those extra days off. Our cleaning schedule is basically in place... it has been thrown off with all the party planning and the business of hosting Thanksgiving - the past month cleaning has come in spurts more like it used to, but hey - we're not living in squalor. I got a few loads of laundry done and the kitchen is clean (because we ate leftovers). This weekend we didn't have a ton of stuff to catch up on, just more sorting and clearing out... so I feel like there should be all kinds of extra time.

But you know what I did with my "extra" time?

Saturday afternoon - the weather was sunny and in the mid-60s

The whole family went to the park (Even Roxie!)

We played on the slides, the jungle gym, and the swings.

So we may not have gotten an extra weekend's worth of things done around the house, but it was a great weekend... totally worth it!

Oliver's Sesame Street birthday party!

I was really, really happy with how Oliver's birthday party came together this year!

Here's the invitation:

I made these myself in Microsoft Publisher and had them printed up in 5x7

The logistics:

12:30pm - Oliver & Trent (my BFF's son visiting from out of town) go down for naptime.

Trent is sleeping peacefully and Oliver is fighting it. My mom stays behind to convince him it's time to sleep.

1:00 pm - get the car loaded up, head over to the hall with BFF Jen, start decorating. Brother shows up with a giant bag of ice and his helpful pants on. Mom drives over and we get shit done.

2:15 pm - Thanks to the help of my awesome crew, we are miraculously done decorating! Drive over to the dollar store for helium balloons, drive to pizza place and pay way too much money for pizza.

2:45 pm - back to the hall, husbands and babies arrive with the rest of the food, and it's time to get this party started.

I am so incredibly grateful for all the help I had putting this together - I couldn't have done it without my awesome family and friends and my amazing husband who is now famous for his delicious pretzel bread (with Hershey Kisses inside!!). 

Just before 3:00, when people started to arrive, I looked around and I couldn't have been happier.

Now on to the pictures!

a couple of my favorite details. lollipop tree and homemade cupcake toppers

 

balloon garland, strung with plain old needle and thread

bounce house, borrowed from a friend, indoors! which is why I love this hall.

an impromptu parade? don't mind if I do.

cupcakes & milk :)



elbow cake!!

Elmo loves you, Ollie, and so do we!

I have this theory...

Crafted over the years with the help of some good friends.

Erasure Theory: When you have a bad experience, you can recreate the scene in an enjoyable setting, in order to erase the offending memory.

Example: Say you have a crappy time with someone (usually an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend) while drinking Captain Morgan's/bird watching/eating at McDonald's. Now, every time you drink Captain/see a bird/eat a Happy Meal, you think of this person and whatever unpleasant memory that has attached itself to this event.

In order to prevent this from happening again, make a point of slightly changing the situation to have a good time, thereby erasing the bad time. Drink Captain Morgan's with your best friend. Go out and sit in a park and watch birds on a bright, clear, sunny summer day. Eat at McDonald's with your Grandma.

Notable use: Friends, The One With The 'Cuffs:

Monica: You bet that I'd screw up? All that stuff about hiring me because I was good was...
Mrs. Geller: No no no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.

Phoebe: Just change what it means, you know. Go down there and prove your mother wrong. You finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that, "pulling a Monica."
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica!" Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica. Whew." Or someone hits a home run, the announcer says "Yeah, that one's outta here." 'Cause somethings don't change.

I think the most important part of this "theory" is to be mentally aware of the new situation. Be totally, purposefully in the new moment. You get to decide what means what to you. If you want to stop thinking about that bad thing that happened, or like me, if you tend to dwell on what could have or should have been... give yourself a do-over!

As my mom says, "The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now." Why wait?

dear Trent...

Happy Birthday to the sweet son of my best friend.

See you this weekend, Mason family!

because I'm going to the rock show

Here's a new video, released today!



See you on September 20th, you goofy bastards!

Florida!

We're hanging by the pool this week. BRB. TTYL. CYA.

My favorite band: foofighters

This album comes out in two weeks... April 12th... I can't WAIT!

The first single: Rope



The hilarious video for White Limo: (yes, that IS Lemmy)




And just released, my favorite so far, Bridge Burning:

Click Play below to listen!



Now, if only they would annouce a tour date in Cleveland, I'd be a super happy girl!

spring 2011

I had to stop by here today to reflect on how far I've come in the last year.

I remember the begining of 2010 being very difficult. That whole winter was emotionally and physically taxing. Pumping at work, being so exhausted from long days, and just plain missing my little guy so much that I could hardly stand it. I think the dramatic drop from blissed-out new mom to over-tired working mom was too much for me. I felt... fragile.

It makes me tear up just thinking about how much I struggled. I wanted so badly to be the best mom that I focused solely on Oliver and shoved, hard, everything else into the background. It took a toll on my marriage, because I know I wasn't the best wife there for a while. There are a few times that Nick said "I just want my wife back..." and that statement never failed to make me feel bad, but also snapped me the hell out of whatever funk I was in and made me realize that in my haze of single-minded focus I was still missing out.

Not that there weren't happy times, because of course there were, and plenty of them, and I know I took advantage and played and took pictures and made memories but looking back, it was just... mostly gray.

Anyway, March 2010 was where I started to come out of it. I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Last spring, I learned a little better how to be present in my own life. I realized that the fun in weeknight bathtime was no less joyful than weekend afternoons. I'm not saying things are perfect now, but my equilibrium is evening out. Dare I say: I'm feeling balance. I am so darn happy. Seriously. And when I look at what we've been through, even though others might struggle with more or different challenges in parenting, I still feel triumphant. I deserve to be happy.

For once, I feel the need to mention my job. I'm enjoying it! It's at times exciting, fast paced and challenging... other times it's mundane tasks and meetings. It's always changing, and while the changes are always varying in my personal scope of ideal, it's never boring. My boss is a genuine and compassionate human being, and that alone is something I know I'm lucky to have, let alone an affordable insurance plan and a little vacation time.

This spring, there will be no stopping our little family. Nick and I are so looking forward to the next few months. We're in love with each other and our little man. It's going to be full of gardening, walks, playgrounds, and laughter. We've got a vacation planned - taking a trip to Florida (Ollie's first plane ride!) to visit the grandparents and the beach - and we're going to relax and enjoy each other.

And this little guy? What can I say? He's perfect, the light of my life, and the walking, talking definition of joy.

the past month

I have been loving living my life.

Things got kinda crazy there, with planning Oliver's birthday party, and then BAM, HI Thanksgiving a week later! But, you guys. I am freakin' HAPPY.

So, since I last posted:

• the weekend after the big leap he came down with his first ear infection - but it didn't affect his demeanor one bit!




Please focus on the sweet grinning baby boy and not
my inappropriate dog in the background.

• I turned 31 years old. Bought new pants.
• Nick broke his toe - but it healed up just in time for "the" birthday party.
• Oliver got a bunch of awesome toys for his birthday - including his "first" (read: ONLY) 4-wheeler! More party pictures coming - but how could I not post this face?
• Winter came to Cleveland. December 1st it started snowing like hell. News people predicted Snowmageddon! In reality it wasn't that bad... but maybe I'm just a little tougher than the whiny pants?

• We attended two company holiday parties in the same weekend... mine on Friday night, Nick's on Saturday. And on that Saturday night, another girl and I were wearing the same dress. It was totally a sitcom-moment, where I berate people for not telling me quickly enough that *of course* I looked better in it! And I did... see?
• I did all my Christmas shopping on Amazon. It was the shit.
• We got his pictures taken for his birthday and Christmas all in the same session. Here are the birthday ones... I'm holding on to the Christmas ones until I get to the official birthday recap. Nyah nah.

• He started walking, kinda, but yes really taking real steps. About a week before Christmas. He gets so stinkin proud of himself when he does it too.

OK, that's all I'm posting for now. I just wanted to put these awesome pictures out there, and give a little update. But, I've got nothing to bitch about so this post is short & sweet. My husband is awesome, my kid is awesome, I'm busy being happy!

in which the WIN outweighs the FAIL, but only barely

I've been thinking more and more (last week was a MAJOR SUCK and this week was only slightly better) about quitting work, seeing my guy all the time, and working to get the finances in order. I've been entirely too LAZY about paying the bills (they're getting paid - no worries) like: I pay the electric bill approximately once a month. Due date, shmoo date, really, because the electric company doesn't charge late fees and it gets paid often enough that it's not going to get shut off or something. The other day I took about an hour and set up auto-pay on some stuff. So hey! I got something accomplished! WIN

We are refinancing the house. We got a pretty good rate, signed the initail paperwork, paid the fee (stupid), and we're now the appraiser's coming Tuesday. *fingers crossed* I'm not too worried about the house appraising for enough, since all those home value estimate websites have reassured me. WIN

I want to trade in my car. We don't need 2 SUVs, and we definitely don't need a car payment that's almost $500 a month. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. FAIL

At work today, I asked a caller "can I transfer you to his boyfriend? I mean, voicemail?" Oh, and I just called my friend's grandma a freak. Words: FAIL

In other non-name-calling news: I'm going to visit my BFF this weekend! Remember how I helped throw her baby shower a few months ago? Well, that baby boy is here, and we're road trippin' on down to sniff see that bundle of joy! Hooray for babies, friends and long weekends! WIN

The stupid fancy pants comments system on the blog has been all janky. I tried something new and shiny because I'm a geek and I was all oooh WIDGETS, and it failed. I'm trying to figure out how to uninstall the thing because now all the comments are missing and I'm just done. FAIL

But! I did add a couple pages up at the top and I think it's time for a new header soon. I moved all of my blog friends links to a separate page, Visit my Friends! so if you feel like surfin' start there! (OH! And while you're here, maybe vote for me on Picket Fence? kthxbai) I "designed" one of those buttons (hint: it's the FIRST one) and it was fun, so if anyone out there wants me to whip up something for you or if you'd like to see your link on that page, just let me know! WIN

Baby's First Road Trip

About 3 hours south of Cleveland (which only took us 4 hours to make the trip!),

to my best friend's baby shower.

 I made that diaper cake! Isn't it sweet?

Ollie's 1/2 birthday was that Saturday, and the shower was on Sunday.

He had a ball, hanging with all da ladiez...

big time!

You guys. You may or may not have noticed.

http://www.ninjapanza.com/

I know. I am so big time.

So, I've updated my button, done a little rearranging (two righty-sidebars! yippee!) and I'm pretty sure I've updated the buttons up there to reflect the "new" feed. I know that Google redirects anyone that goes to the old .blogspot site here, but someday I may switch to Wordpress or something and blah blah bzzzzzzzzzzzt! 

It's new blog stuff! If anyone out there has me in their reader or bookmarked, I'd appreciate it if you'd update to the fancy Feedburner edition!

(Family: Email subscriptions stay the same!)

Also! There's a new way to comment... I'm trying out a new program that shouldn't require you to log in to anything - just enter your name and email address (which only I can see). So please leave a comment so we can test it out... this means you, California! And you, Ramirez!

OK. That is all.

Except for a few pics, which is what y'all come here for in the first place:

It's a major award!

My first blog award was given to me by Her Momma. Check out her blog, everybody. You think Ollie's hair is awesome? (You're right...) Check out baby Lovie... she is OMG THOSE CURLS SO CUTE OMG THOSE CHEEKS! So thanks for the award, Momma!

Now, to accept this award I have to list 10 interesting things about myself. I guess these are "honest" "scraps" about me. Oh, so clever.

1. I have never seen Toy Story or Monsters, Inc., which totally blows Nick's mind.. They are now in our Netflix queue.
2. I really dislike food with bones. It's not my idea of a good meal to have to work to get the meat off of chicken wings or ribs, and it makes me feel a little weird and caveman savage-like to be pulling the meat off of animal bones with my bare hands.
3. There has been much debate in our family about which way to face the silverware when loading the dishwasher. Both sides have their merits: Face up? It probably gets cleaner, not being shoved down in the basket thing all jammed together. Face down? After the cycle is done & it's time to unload your hands never touch the part you put in your mouth or the sharp knife blades. The world may never know. Hm. This is supposed to be "interesting" and also about me. Is it interesting enough for me to admit to flip flopping on this issue? No? Sorry then.
4. I hold my pee a lot. I don't know why.
5. My son is 7 months old today. I have some pink nail polish on my toes that is older than he is by one day. Klassy!
6. I met my husband in high school. Short version: he dated my friend, they broke up. We dated, and broke up. Seven years later we met up again and were instantly in love. It was like we had never broken up, except for the part where we learned from our past mistakes and realized what we wanted & didn't want in a relationship. We like to say we had to break up in order to get the stupid out of the way.
7. I have 2 step sisters. I never mention them because I never see them. And because I don't like them.
8. I am a huge Star Trek nerd. The Next Generation rules all. (HI, Mae!) I got this love from watching with my Dad and it's one thing that makes me feel close to him.
9. I am a football fan. A Cleveland Browns fan at that. There. I said it.
10. I probably could have come up with more interesting things, but I am a blog slacker and I wanted to get this post up for Tornado Tuesday! Hi, new friends! Here's a picture of my kid! 

OK, to finish up, I'm supposed to nominate other bloggers for this award. So, here are 5 folks I would like to know a little more about! 

• Laura at Cameron Crazy Mom
• Karey at Family of Five
• CiCi at Giggle, Giggle, Hiccup
• Mrs. Boom at The Story of Baby Boom
• Lisa at Queens Mama

Swagger.

OK. We don't have cable anymore, so I'm going to use that as my excuse for not having seen this commercial earlier. Thank goodness for other awesome bloggers like Emmie Bee and Kristi who post things like this where I will (eventually) discover them. If you've seen it already, please enjoy again. If not, you're welcome.

Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day was AWESOME.

My boys gave me an amazingly beautiful perfect necklace, a (three hour!) nap, a long hot shower, and a delicious dinner. (The recipe is something we've made & blogged about before. Also known as that one time a famous person from TV commented on my blog!)

click to zoom

Sunday was a perfect, wonderful, slow-paced, relaxing day.


Now begin the mommyblogger sap-fest post that made me tear up while writing it.

I am a mom. I know, in no uncertain terms, that I was always meant to be this little boy's mom.

I am his protector, his defender, his caretaker... and hopefully someday his friend. He is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I am a good mom... no, a GREAT mom... because I learned from the best. I know it's common once you have a child of your own to realize just what you mean to your own mother, and gain a little more understanding and respect for who she is and what she's done for you. But you guys, I have ALWAYS (ok, with the excpetion of that year or two in high school when I was an asshat) known how great my mom is.

You know that old sitcom cliche where the woman has a shocking epiphany... "I've become my MOTHER!" Yeah, for me, that's a lofty goal. If anyone tells me "you're just like your mother" my response is, "Thank you!"

She's MY protector. My caretaker. My ally & my friend.

And now that she's my son's grandma, she's become my mama-mentor.

I can only imagine what great memories we'll all share.

I love you, mom. We're so lucky to have you.

I Feel Good

It's not a real big secret that I've been kinda down in the dumps lately. Chalk it up to baby blues, seasonal affective disorder, or just a personal laziness-induced funk... or all of the above. I had a little conversation with Nick about it over lunch, and I feel better... energized... hopeful. Being a mom is a lot of work. It may the best work I've ever done, but that doesn't mean it's not exhausting. I thank God for my husband... he's my inspiration, my motivation, and not to mention without him I wouldn't have my beautiful baby boy.

So aside from spending part of this morning, when I should have been working, getting lists together for spring cleaning and making a short list of Things That Must Be Done before I treat myself to a facial (I bought a coupon for it with my Christmas money) I started thinking about how even though I can't stop thinking about wanting to stay home with Ollie, it probably won't be a reality for me anytime soon. So, I will make the best of it. I started thinking about how nice it is that at least I like the people at the daycare center where he spends "school day". Some people aren't even that lucky... some have to drop their child off at a questionable place, or with questionable people... and I know I'm a worrier by nature, but that would be downright intolerable for me.

I'll get to the point... the part where I feel good. I was scrolling through my Google Reader, reading up on what alexa did this weekend, and at the bottom of her posts there's a reminder: "donate $16 to Providence House and help tuck a baby in tonight". Some parents are having so much trouble making ends meet and have no one else to turn to, that they need a safe warm place to leave their kids. Some parents, in an act more heartbreaking than I can imagine, and knowing that it's in the child's best interest, have to leave their baby in the hands of someone else for longer than a few hours a day while at work. What I like best about Providence House is that their goal is "reunification". This isn't foster care, it's a safe, temporary home for kids whose parents are struggling, but trying to get back on their feet to keep their family together.

$16. I can do that. So I did. Click through to either alexa's blog Cleveland's a Plum or the Providence House website to donate.

Reality check.

I am one lucky girl. I have a job, a beautiful family, great friends... it really doesn't get much better than this.