good mornings

A few months ago, I explained this gist of this article to Oliver. I told him that I'm going to make time to connect with him every morning, so that his brain can wake up peacefully. I asked him what he would like to do if we had a few minutes to spend together and he said, "play Legos."

The next morning I went in his room, flipped on the light, and gathered his clothes. I laid in his bed and asked Siri to set a timer for 5 minutes. We snuggled for a minute and then got up and played Legos until the alarm sounded. He liked what I built. :) It was freaking magical. He got dressed on his own and went downstairs. I didn't have to ask him more than once to get his shoes, jacket, backpack, etc. He told me twice that he liked connecting with me. He let the dog out. He poured his own milk.

I didn't expect this miracle to repeat itself daily, and honestly I haven't been the best at reserving a set amount of time with him, but it has made an impact. This school year has thrown some interesting challenges at us, and I really think that getting down on his level - literally and figuratively, can only help us navigate what we'll face in the years to come.

As the new year begins, I will continue to make time for his little soul. My favorite quote from the article says, "...fill your child’s cup before the day starts, and reconnect after the separation of the night." They're only this age once!

second grader

street signs and books!

So this morning we're driving to daycare, and Oliver is telling me what all the street signs mean. There's the usual... STOP, Railroad Crossing, Speed Limit 35, etc.

Then he says "Oh! That sign says the Library is that way!" So I ask him if he wants to go to the library. He says, "nah... I'll do that when I get to college."

NO WAIT WHAT PARENTING FAIL

I may be overreacting here, but seriously? My kid's never been to a proper library?

Nick and I like reading and we also like devices. I have a Kindle, Nick has a Kindle, and Oliver even has that Tag Reader pen thing with like half a dozen books.

He also has a few favorite story books that we're getting super tired of reading over and over again. Why did I never think of taking him to the library and letting him borrow a few books and changing up the bedtime story rotation for free? Duh.

So we're going tomorrow and I'm stupid excited about it.




P.S. I'm on Goodreads, so my list of recent reads is there. I could have gone back in time and added in everything I've ever read, Harry Potter, Sweet Valley High, etc. but I didn't because lazy. I read a LOT of different genres, from YA to sci-fi to smut.

I'm doing their reading challenge for 2014... challenging myself to read 20 books this year. It doesn't seem like much of a challenge, but considering that I go in spurts of reading, 4 books in a row and then none for months... I'm aiming low.

calling for backup

You may or may not know what it's like to be the only person (couple) in a 50-mile radius that you really trust to care for your young child. Sure, there are some less-than-involved grandparents in the area, but they were unreliable. Sad but true. Yeah, I have friends, but they're all either hundreds of miles away, or it's my one friend with a child who is super busy every day of her life.

Things have gotten so much easier lately. It's been a long time since I really felt like I had real backup... probably since before Nick's mom got sick.

So not only did I get my mom back, my dear cousin Ashley and her kid-loving husband Brandon moved home too!

I couldn't be more excited. We have real, reliable babysitters. We go on dates. Like, twice in the past two months. Whoa. And just when I get to missing him I get text updates.

Even better: now I don't stress about what might (will) happen when we have our second child. I know I will have help.

I am feeling so lucky and blessed and content right now!

a video for a friend

Thank God for Heather, man. If not for her & Jack prompting, we might not have recorded this video.

Gone are the days where the best I could get him to say is "I only like milk. Mommy only likes coffee." Because, while true, it doesn't really capture everything he's into. Enjoy:

three and a half.

I love three and a half. It's like, he still a little bi-polar crazy person, with mood swings that put PMS to shame, but oh man he is so much fun.

Sometimes when he wakes up in the morning he's happy to see me. On days like this he will smile & tell me he slept well. Other days, he yells at me, demanding that I leave him alone. Oh, and fetch my milk, woman!

I let him pick his shirt: penguin or Toy Story? He giggles & smiles & laughs because, of course Toy Story!

Then he cries because his snow boots are too small. I tell him it's summer, his feet will get too hot anyway: this could either result in a meltdown or indifference to the fact that I am even in the room.

In the car, he cocks his little head to the side and looks at me in the rear view mirror saying, "Mommy! You forgot my gummy! SILLY Mommy!"

Thankfully we're still in the garage... so I obligingly run back in the house for the precious gummy vitamin.

We see a tractor. We listen to his current favorite song, "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel.

He goes to school and learns to write his name.

Self portrait, signed by the artist. 5/27/2013

On Tuesdays he has soccer class. He stretches big, listens well, and admires Coach James.


has big muscles

He comes home and tells me he has fast running feet.We practice in the backyard and he shows me all his new skills.

Bedtime can go either way, but he's generally a good listener even if he's a little wild. That time between 6:00 and 8:00 at night can be so draining... we're all tired from a long day, you know?

But when I wake up in the morning to find this:

I can't help but smile. I've forgotten that he smacked me in the face with his empty milk cup. I listen to his peaceful, even breathing for a minute. I hope this morning will be more silly than grumpy.

The good always outweighs the bad.

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We're dino-crazy.

This is Buddy. His favorite thing in the world is riding the Dinosaur Train.

So when we were in Washington DC this summer, at the end of our visit to the Natural History Museum, we told Oliver he could get a toy. We were all tired and he'd had such a long day and he had been so good... the boy deserved a reward. So I parked his stroller next to a souvenir stand and told him to pick out whatever he wanted. He picked a random three-pack of dinosaur toys. I think I actually tried to talk him out of them because they were from some show we'd never seen and I guess maybe I thought he'd be happier with some generic dinosaurs. I don't know.

Fast-forward to the trip home... we stopped at a Waffle House for dinner. (Scattered, smothered, covered and chunked - FYI) and another mom at the table next to us pointed out Oliver's toys to her son. Who then proceeded to tell us the names of the things and also what time periods they were from and some other random info. I smiled and nodded, talking to the mom, who told us her son had started out watching the dinosaur show and now he new everything about them. Cute, her son liked dinosaurs. They're a nice family.

So maybe a week later I came across Buddy there on the Netflix. What the hell, I thought. Better than another episode of Elmo's World, I thought.

I created a monster.

In the best way.

Confession: I love this show.

We know all the songs (and I have come thiiisclose to purchasing the soundtrack), we can identify theropods and pterosaurs and name their features, we have a running joke in our house about how Don likes to eat bugs, and Oliver was seriously bummed that he was not a stygimoloch.

He can recognize each episode by its Netflix thumbnail. We have yet to actually catch it on PBS, but now that there's new episodes I'm going to have to figure out the air times, because OMG new Dinosaur Train. I have 2 PBS Kids apps on my phone.

We're dino-crazy, and it's fun. We like it. It made for a really great birthday party.

Just ask Oliver about Dr. Scott... he'll tell you that's his friend, the paleontologist, who wants us to get outside, get into nature, and make our own discoveries.

a conversation on each side of sleep

(8:00 pm)

Mommy, are you my best friend?
Yeah... I'd love that buddy.
Just me and you, nobody else.

... well, what about Daddy?
Oh, yeah, Daddy too.
Me and you and Daddy are all best friends?
Yeah, and nobody else.

Oh, and my puppy.
And my toys and my house.
And our new truck.

Good night, baby. I love you.
I love you too, Mama.

***

(8:00 am)


Wake up time, Mommy and Daddy! I came to get you guys!

(Crap, he figured it out.)

Can you get me some milmy?
I want to watch Dinosaur Train!
Is it wake up time?
Can I have a smoothie for breakfast?
I hafta go get my Toy Storys.
I want some milmy.
Can you turn on a movie?
I don't hafta go potty!
Can you be awake now?



*milmy is his word for milk.

one of my finer parenting moments

Oliver has been playing "party" the last couple weeks. Like, he'll jump around and say it's a dance party, or he'll get up on our bed and have a party and say the pillows are the cake and presents.

We have a lot of pillows.

So the other day he was playing in our room and found a bag of decorations and supplies from his birthday party.

Yes, I'm very organized.

So he pulls out this roll of ribbon and says, "What is this? Can I play with it?"

Decision time. Do I let him unravel it and get it all tangled up or do I take it away and try some distraction when he (inevitably) gets pissed?

We had a party. I helped with the decorations & the cupcakes were delicious.

this morning

Oliver woke up at 6:40 a.m.

He yelled "Mama!"

I said "Hi buddy, are you awake?"

He said "Yes mama, can I get out of bed?"

(I'm guessing he didn't know if it was morning or night.)

He decided to hang out in my bed while I showered.

I came back in the room. He told me, "don't forget to blow dry your hair!"

(I don't know.)

Then after we picked out his shirt, I offered  him two stickers to get dressed all by himself.

I went in the kitchen to get his milk and my coffee.

After a few minutes he came running in, "wook, mama! I did it!"

"I'm so proud of you, buddy!"

He got back in the big bed while I finished getting ready.

I heard his voice from down the hall... and when I got back to my bedroom he said, "MOM. You gave me a lid that sounds like a bear when I drink."

(I have no idea.)

I was super glad to have some laughs with my boy before work.

Happy Friday!

what did we do today?

Last year when my mom came to town and stayed with us around Oliver's birthday, she unknowingly started a "thing". Turns out it was an awesome thing!

Every night after bath and teeth brushing and stuffed guy choosing, either Nick or I sit in the chair with him for a few minutes before putting him to bed. Thanks to my mom, our way of getting him to wind down and settle in for sleep is to talk through the day.

It started out, like I said, with my Ollie & my mom discussing all the fun things they had done that day. We went to the store! Grandma bought you a Car!

Now it's an every night tradition and I LOVE IT. Most days are the same... we went to school, ate lunch with friends, came home & had dinner and playtime... but it's the perfect way to remind yourself to look for something good and fun and positive in every day.

I highly recommend it.

oh, drafts folder. you suck.

I found the following in my Drafts folder, dated September 5, 2011.

I'm posting it as is, for no other reason than to have it as a reminder. It contains only the good stuff from last summer, when everything sucked except for my sweet baby Oliver. He was busy growing, learning, and becoming so smart that my heart wants to burst from my chest and my eyes well up with tears. Just reading through this list made me remember... and realize how much he has grown. This was one whole year ago, when he was just sprouting this little personality, and now we have conversations and he's potty training like a boss and his imagination runs wild and he makes up songs and tells stories...

I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again: He. Is. Pure. Joy.

If only she could know him now.

So here is the awkward draft, unedited:

Chomps.

That's the Cleveland Browns' mascot dog guy. Some friends of ours had him come out to their son's birthday party... and Ollie was not a fan. You can tell by the apprehensive look on my face!



DO NOT WANT



smiling in this pic, only because he doensn't know who's behind him.

Tattoo

I gotta tattoo, mommy!



top 5: November 30th

Here are my top five six things about November 30th:

1. It's my Papa's birthday. Today Oliver randomly sang Happy Birthday while we were playing after dinner.
2. It's the last day of NaBloPoMo. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved. It's definitely pushed my limits, and caused me to see blog posts in daily life. I think I've done pretty well though, at accomplishing my goal. I've grown a bit as a writer, meaning (to me) I'll take those seemingly insignificant moments and really analyze what they mean(to me), what they could mean (to me), and learn from them.
3. This morning we woke up to the first snowfall of the season. Oliver was pretty darn cute about it, with the excitement in his voice saying, "Whatzat mama?" and "it's snow! ooooh wow!"
4. (Tomorrow) it can officially be Christmastime around here. It's not just about "respecting the turkey" but also about trying to squeeze the last bit of fall fun I can out of the year. Plus, trying to put off the seasonal affective disorder (which I'm sure I have). It gets really cold in Cleveland.
5. I did a bit of shopping online today, but didn't meet my goal of being done with Christmas shopping before December. I do still plan to do almost all of our gift-buying online this year, but I better get on the ball (so we I don't end up obsessively tracking shipments due to arrive on December 21st and freaking the fuck out because it would really suck to have no gifts to give and have to explain that I'm a loser and didn't order them in time so here's a printed-out-from-Amazon picture of what we bought you). Not that that's happened. (But almost.)
6. Numbered list, run-on sentences, and overuse of parentheses to end National Blog Posting Month? WIN.

a quick story

Tonight was supposed to be a regular night. I drove home from work and picked up my guys. The plan was to head out to Taco Bell for dinner and then go grocery shopping. The first part went well, Ollie had mostly potatoes for dinner, he called them french fries. I took him to the bathroom to change his diaper, while Nick went out to start the car. He got in on the passenger side, started the car, then decided to be chivalrous and pull the car around to the door of the restaurant. He got out, went around to the driver's side and

(I bet you can tell where this is going.)

the doors were locked. All of them. With the car running.

Ollie and I came out, him happily running through the rain, and Nick tells me we're locked out of the car.

To our credit, no one lost their shit. (Emotions have been running high 'round these parts, you know.) We stood there for a minute, me basically looking shocked, Nick saying "I don't know how this happened!" and Oliver still happily letting the rain fall on his face.

Luckily, Nick hadn't left his phone in the car, so we were able to call Uncle Bob down the street and he drove over to our house, went inside and got Nick's keys, and drove them out to Taco Bell to rescue us.

My sweet boy was so good the whole time, too. He played chase around the restaurant for a while, and then when more customers came in, he settled down and didn't disturb anyone. He was just excited that Uncle Bob was coming to see us at the restaurant.

This just goes to show you that family is not only who you're related to by blood, but also who you're related to by heart. We are lucky to have some really great people in our life.

My car was low on gas, so we went to the station to fill up. When I got back in the car, Oliver kept saying "go see Bob" and "go see Ellie" and "go see Bogey" (their dog). I thought that was a great idea, so instead of going to the grocery store and winding up with an overtired toddler by the end of the trip, off we went to visit.

He ended up awake past his bedtime anyway, what with the dog to play with and Aunt Ellie feeding him bananas, but hey... it was a good time and no one was cranky.

Thank God for family and friends who we call family!

the long weekend

It's glorious, and a pain in the ass all at the same time. There's such a build up to holiday weekends. Slugging through that last workday, with the promise three or four whole days off? Anticipation is the best...

I always expect so much out of those extra days off. Our cleaning schedule is basically in place... it has been thrown off with all the party planning and the business of hosting Thanksgiving - the past month cleaning has come in spurts more like it used to, but hey - we're not living in squalor. I got a few loads of laundry done and the kitchen is clean (because we ate leftovers). This weekend we didn't have a ton of stuff to catch up on, just more sorting and clearing out... so I feel like there should be all kinds of extra time.

But you know what I did with my "extra" time?

Saturday afternoon - the weather was sunny and in the mid-60s

The whole family went to the park (Even Roxie!)

We played on the slides, the jungle gym, and the swings.

So we may not have gotten an extra weekend's worth of things done around the house, but it was a great weekend... totally worth it!

my son, today

This morning, my son woke up and started calling for me saying, "Mommy where aaaaaaare youuuuuuu?"

How could I not wake up with a smile on my face, hearing that? I love weekends.

I sleepily shuffled into his room to find him stark naked. Shocked, I asked him, "Ollie! Why are you naked?!"

His answer was to smile at me, hold out his pants, and then say, "Hi Mommy! Pants! No diaper!"

I eventually found his diaper had been stuffed down behind his crib. Thankfully, it was only wet, and pretty heavy. I can see how that would be annoying.

(He's inching closer to potty-training, I think.  Along with this morning's antics, he's also occasionally been asking to be changed and sneaking off to do his business "alone" either behind the couch or at the end of the hallway or something. He will mention going potty [he's seen the kids at daycare going off to use the potty], and we have a little potty thing that plays a song that we got as a hand me down that he likes to go sit on and play with.)

Anyway, we had bacon, half an orange, and some blueberries for breakfast. We then watched Shrek and and ate a few goldfish crackers. When Daddy and Uncle Joel woke up, we all played Mr. Potato Head for a while.  We had Thanksgiving sandwiches for lunch, and right now my sweet boy is napping, clutching on to the Woody doll he got for his birthday.

We'll see what happens when he wakes up.

Thankful.

Oliver, Two Years Old

And his silly Daddy.

I love these goofballs.

With all my heart.

Today I just want to say that I'm so thankful for the happiness and health of these two dudes right here, and they joy they bring me just by being "mine".

if it ain't broke, and I don't fix it, what happens?

As it turns out, I'm the kind of mom who will rock my boy to sleep - at two years old - if that's what works for us.

Books, and maybe some doctors, and most of the internets, say that he should have learned to fall asleep on his own by like 9 months old, but I don't so much care what they say. Maybe it's the "attachment parent" in me, or maybe it's that I'm lazy and don't really want to battle "sleep training", but I like to think that as a mom, his mom, I know what's good for us.

Oliver sleeps 10 hours a night, every night. He has nights where I'd rock him and he wouldn't fall asleep in his usual 20 minutes, and rarely those nights have stretched out into full-on two-and-a-half hour rocking shhh-ing marathons. But since he was about 8 months old, he's slept thru the night.

(Even those times though, there wasn't really a lot of kicking, screaming, bargaining, etc., mostly just calm confusion. Like, we'd look at each other and I'm thinking "why aren't you asleep yet, kid?" and he's looking at me like, "I don't even know, mom.") Eh, there's nights when I just can't fall asleep, so maybe there's just a lot on his little toddler mind? He's worried about that baby bird Elmo found?

So then one night I put him down in his crib, and he wasn't asleep yet. And he went to sleep. Just like that. And I thought he just decided on his own that this was cool... easy peasy, whatever mom. This is pretty much how all of our "transitions" with Oliver have gone. Breast to bottle at daycare? No biggie. Bottle to sippy cup? OK cool, not picky. Food, walking, teething, even illnesses? Tough guy. Nothing I'd really call a battle.

Anyhow, I remained cautious, trying it again and again, and sometimes it would be fine, he'd go to sleep... and sometimes he was on his feet before I got out the door crying for me.

I don't do well with that, at all.

It's like, I know he can do it - go to sleep by himself - so those nights that he doesn't? Must be my fault. Did I not do enough to make it easy for him? Did I try to hard to ease into the transition from my arms to the crib? Did I let him stay up too late so he's over-tired? Is he not tired enough? Was his nap too late? Is he thirsty? Teething? Does he have to poop? Is he sick? Did he hear the dog bark?

What happened to my confidence?

I was totally fine letting him fall asleep on me. I was all: who cares? And now, something must be wrong. The routine is lacking. There's something I'm missing.

I guess I'll just keep on trying, calling for reinforcements from Daddy if needed. I get frustrated, mostly with myself, when bedtime doesn't go like I think it should. He almost always wakes up happy, but I still somehow feel like I'm failing him. This is supposedly a skill, and I'm not helping him master it.

I'm just tired of thinking about it.

to lovey, or not to lovey?

Yeah, it's not up to me. I was one of those parents who decided that it wouldn't be bad for my kid to have a lovey. Some random toy that will calm him, make him feel safe, be a familiar friend in a strange and/or new situation? Fine by me!

So we started out with me assuming everything Oliver became remotely attached to was destined to become "THE thing" and I'd start researching how to get my hands on backup copies... Patrick from SpongeBob beanie baby? Got two. Taggies blanket? Check. Ridonkulous sock monkey thing... uh oh, am I in trouble? I don't know where that came from!

My son is on the opposite side of the lovey argument, apparently. Any of an assortment of "nigh-night" blankets is fine. His only thing is that most nights he wants to pick out a new one from the drawer.

This post was inspired by commenting on my friend Heather's blog... click to see her son Jack's lovey, Dee-Da.