Chomps.

That's the Cleveland Browns' mascot dog guy. Some friends of ours had him come out to their son's birthday party... and Ollie was not a fan. You can tell by the apprehensive look on my face!



DO NOT WANT



smiling in this pic, only because he doensn't know who's behind him.

a quick story

Tonight was supposed to be a regular night. I drove home from work and picked up my guys. The plan was to head out to Taco Bell for dinner and then go grocery shopping. The first part went well, Ollie had mostly potatoes for dinner, he called them french fries. I took him to the bathroom to change his diaper, while Nick went out to start the car. He got in on the passenger side, started the car, then decided to be chivalrous and pull the car around to the door of the restaurant. He got out, went around to the driver's side and

(I bet you can tell where this is going.)

the doors were locked. All of them. With the car running.

Ollie and I came out, him happily running through the rain, and Nick tells me we're locked out of the car.

To our credit, no one lost their shit. (Emotions have been running high 'round these parts, you know.) We stood there for a minute, me basically looking shocked, Nick saying "I don't know how this happened!" and Oliver still happily letting the rain fall on his face.

Luckily, Nick hadn't left his phone in the car, so we were able to call Uncle Bob down the street and he drove over to our house, went inside and got Nick's keys, and drove them out to Taco Bell to rescue us.

My sweet boy was so good the whole time, too. He played chase around the restaurant for a while, and then when more customers came in, he settled down and didn't disturb anyone. He was just excited that Uncle Bob was coming to see us at the restaurant.

This just goes to show you that family is not only who you're related to by blood, but also who you're related to by heart. We are lucky to have some really great people in our life.

My car was low on gas, so we went to the station to fill up. When I got back in the car, Oliver kept saying "go see Bob" and "go see Ellie" and "go see Bogey" (their dog). I thought that was a great idea, so instead of going to the grocery store and winding up with an overtired toddler by the end of the trip, off we went to visit.

He ended up awake past his bedtime anyway, what with the dog to play with and Aunt Ellie feeding him bananas, but hey... it was a good time and no one was cranky.

Thank God for family and friends who we call family!

things I haven't mentioned yet

Here's five things you might not know (and one you probably don't care to know):

1. I love rye toast with lots of butter. Really, I love all breakfast foods, just not in the morning. Eggs in the am? No thanks.
2. I don't like shampoo and/or conditioner that's too heavy... if I can still feel the slimy-ness in my hair after I've rinsed, I'll rinse again. It creeps me out.
3. I don't wear make up. Like Ever. For a special occasion, I'll slap on some eyeshadow and mascara, but that's it. No foundation, concealer, lip gloss... nothing.
4. Sometimes I pick my nose without thinking about it. At first I'm all: eww I'm gross. Then I'm all: man, I hope no one saw me do that.
5. I'm afraid of deer. They're just so... jumpy. This is the time of year they get extra jumpy too. I'd rather deal with a spider or a slug or some other weird nasty thing than a deer.

photo cards are the coolest {Shutterfly}

When it comes to holiday cards, I rarely send them out. One year, we sent a Christmas card with a picture of our pup on it, and the year Oliver was born I actually handed them out ON Christmas. With picture of the kid. I really love giving (and receiving) cards and notes with photos included… probably because of my love of all things scrapbooking-related! They're just that much more personal and special, not just something you got a box of 50 of and signed your name to a bunch of times. 

I was kidding myself by thinking I’d get Christmas cards out this year... there's just been too much stress on my family (emotionally and financially) this year, and right now I'm so focused on Oliver's birthday party, that it's just not a priority. Sorry, family and friends. If I don't see you around the holidays? Maybe you'll get one of those animated e-cards.

So back to Shutterfly. If I did do Christmas cards, it would probably be one of these.

For the "Happy Holidays" set, politically correct and all. Modern snowflake :)

Merry Christmas, clean and simple. Love that it's folded and really features the photo!

Guess what? I’m also not very good at remembering to send out thank you cards. (Great "review" right? HAHA) I usually get them done, but hardly ever in the socially-acceptable amount of time. My friend Proper Paige would be appalled, really. But I do get them done, eventually, and this year Shutterfly is going to help!

I'm getting 25 free cards (in exchange for writing this post) and there are so many cute designs to choose from! I've decided to go with thank you notes, since they are so sweet (all opinions are my own, duh) I know I will want to send them out right away. (I was not compensated in any other way, so postage is still on me.) I'm still deciding if Oliver will be allowed to color his name on these before they go out, though. (Clicking any photo in this post will take you to Shutterfly's website.)

I'm torn between a few of the designs... trying to find the most Sesame Street Birthday friendly match. Plus, it has depends on which photo I decide to use. I'm probably one of the most indecisive people, ever. Why yes, I am a joy to live with.

I have a thing for orange.

This card rocks... a fun & different way to say thanks.

I love this idea: full black & white photo with colorful letters...

The party is this weekend (!!!) so I have a little bit of time, right? (Heather?) Ooh maybe I'll use a photo from the party! From what I can tell the shipping only takes about a week... yeah, no, you're right. I'm really that ridiculous.

Hey, what do you guys think? Feel free to shout out opinions, yous guys.

it was bound to happen

Oliver is a pretty good traveller. We drove 3 hours south this past weekend for my best friend's son's birthday party. We took a little break about 2 hours in, changed a diaper and ran around the rest area a bit, after which he crashed out for about 45 minutes.

have squeezy "appa sauce", will travel.

Despite getting a late start, we got there just a few minutes after the party started. It was SO CUTE - with Dr. Suess decorations and Cat in the Hat all over. (Oh! And Swedish Fish! Which I forgot to bring home. Boo.)

this is the only picture available for me to steal from Facebook.
yes, it was a first birthday party. yes the cake topper got fixed in time.

The party was lovely, all three babies in attendance were well behaved and (most importantly) they went to sleep without a fight leaving all parents free to enjoy each other's company (and beer) (and whisky slush).

Sunday morning was also full of happy, with three babies and 6 adults having breakfast and some good playtime.

wheee toys!

So after all the good time feelings and rainbow words, you know there has to be something, right? Right.

passed out with Lightning McQueen on his shoulder

We drove home shortly after lunch time, and Oliver fell alseep almost right away. As soon as he woke up, we stopped off at a McDonald's for a diaper change and some french fries.

When we were about half an hour from home Ollie looked at his daddy, held out his hand and said "what's iss?" And Nick said, "What is that? Let me have it..."

It was poop.

It had exploded out of the side of his diaper and down onto the car seat, of course. So I pulled the car over on a side street and get him out. Nick took him and changed his diaper and shorts, while I attempted to get the car seat cover off. Would. Not. Budge. I don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, or maybe if it was just because I wasn't the one who installed it, but I couldn't figure out how to get the cover off of the seat.

So Nick and I switched, and I watched Oliver (which meant keeping him from climbing all over the front seat and/or pushing too many vital buttons on the dashboard) while Nick got the cover off the seat. Turns out, you have to completely disconnect the seat from the car and thread the straps through the cushion and... let's just say there was poop everywhere.

We switched places once again so I could attempt to scrub as much poop as I could off of the straps and buckles before putting him in the seat again. There was a lot of poop.

Did I mention that during the 20 minutes or so that we were stopped on the side of the road it went from a light mist to full-on downpouring rain? Yeah.

I just have to say here that I am SO GLAD my husband is super awesome and dealt with the poop and carseat-challenged wife like a champ. All we could smell the rest of the way home was poo, obviously, but I really would have been sunk without him there.

We were never so happy to be home and see and smell Dial antibacterial soap!

fail: a short story.

I was all proud of myself, smug even, that Oliver had never flipped himself off of the changing table. I even figured out ahead of time, before disaster struck, that the lap belt that comes with the changing pad could not contain him anymore. All it would take was a flip, crawl forward and he'd be free to stand up! And fly off the table! Oh ho ho I am so brilliant to have noticed this and not let him put himself in danger!

Yeah.

So this morning. I put him in his highchair for some Cheerios. (Oh, by the way, have you had the chocolate Cheerios? They're awesome! A low fat snack!) I get his stuff together, my stuff together, and run it out to the car. While I'm in the garage, I hear him start wailing  and I run in.

He's sitting on the kitchen floor, crying. My best guess is that when I (thought I) buckled him in, I didn't "click" the one side all the way, and he wiggled himself out. And then up and jumped out!

So I sat on the floor with him, and we hugged and about 3 minutes later he's all calmed down and petting the dog (whacking her on the head). But she let him, sweet pup. I gave him a cold bottle, because after thrice checking him over, the only probably injury was a possible fat lip. That seemed to make him happy.

Drive to school, tell the teacher about my ginormous lack of paying attention this morning, cuddle him a little more, drive to work. Sigh.

And by the way? It was picture day, so of course he'll probably have a nice fat lip or something in the pictures. We'll see.

in which the WIN outweighs the FAIL, but only barely

I've been thinking more and more (last week was a MAJOR SUCK and this week was only slightly better) about quitting work, seeing my guy all the time, and working to get the finances in order. I've been entirely too LAZY about paying the bills (they're getting paid - no worries) like: I pay the electric bill approximately once a month. Due date, shmoo date, really, because the electric company doesn't charge late fees and it gets paid often enough that it's not going to get shut off or something. The other day I took about an hour and set up auto-pay on some stuff. So hey! I got something accomplished! WIN

We are refinancing the house. We got a pretty good rate, signed the initail paperwork, paid the fee (stupid), and we're now the appraiser's coming Tuesday. *fingers crossed* I'm not too worried about the house appraising for enough, since all those home value estimate websites have reassured me. WIN

I want to trade in my car. We don't need 2 SUVs, and we definitely don't need a car payment that's almost $500 a month. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. FAIL

At work today, I asked a caller "can I transfer you to his boyfriend? I mean, voicemail?" Oh, and I just called my friend's grandma a freak. Words: FAIL

In other non-name-calling news: I'm going to visit my BFF this weekend! Remember how I helped throw her baby shower a few months ago? Well, that baby boy is here, and we're road trippin' on down to sniff see that bundle of joy! Hooray for babies, friends and long weekends! WIN

The stupid fancy pants comments system on the blog has been all janky. I tried something new and shiny because I'm a geek and I was all oooh WIDGETS, and it failed. I'm trying to figure out how to uninstall the thing because now all the comments are missing and I'm just done. FAIL

But! I did add a couple pages up at the top and I think it's time for a new header soon. I moved all of my blog friends links to a separate page, Visit my Friends! so if you feel like surfin' start there! (OH! And while you're here, maybe vote for me on Picket Fence? kthxbai) I "designed" one of those buttons (hint: it's the FIRST one) and it was fun, so if anyone out there wants me to whip up something for you or if you'd like to see your link on that page, just let me know! WIN

Christmas 2009

Better late than never.

(Click to view full-screen)

Crying over spoiled milk

This post is going to take the place of my of my planned "Pumping the boobs" post, since it includes the awkward work moments & "the freezer stash", but I'm going to leave the tips N tricks up to the real experts.

The worst thing that could happen to a working/nursing/pumping mom, happened to me this past weekend. There was a lot going on, depressing family stuff mixed in with good family stuff that just kept us busy from Saturday morning thru Sunday night. So I will give myself a break and not get into "WHY did this have to happen to meeeee?" It was an ACCIDENT. For once, I'm not going to blame my lack of having my shit together for what happened.

What happened?

The milk I pumped at work on Friday got left on the kitchen counter all. damn. weekend.

Spoiled, sour breastmilk. I get teary-eyed just typing that. Any mama out there who pumps knows just how hard you work for every stinking drop.

I personally spend about an hour during my workday in an office by myself, pumping. (Thank God for my iPod touch.) It's difficult to describe the awkwardness that is pumping at work but (of course) I'll try. First, let me say that at no time do I feel ashamed of breastfeeding or pumping. As I've said before, I love it. I'm proud of the fact that the girls are still going strong. But, it's a little weird when you're in the kitchen washing a breast shield while the newly married, 25 year old attorney is trying to butter his toast. Like I'm an old, haggard, curlers & green faced scary vision of the wife-turns-mother stereotype.

Whatever.

What's MORE awkward is that I email my boss every time I go to pump, because we wouldn't want him to be looking for me. To be clear, I do not have the type of job where something needs to get done this minute. Also, when I came back after maternity leave, I was completely open about the fact that I would need a few minutes twice a day to pump, even offered to have that time deducted from my pay. He assured me this wouldn't be necessary (although I don't think either one of us figured the arrangement would last as long as it has). So yes, I am very grateful that my employer is so supportive.

On the other hand, I have the GUILT. There have been so many times that I'll be sitting there, and something I forgot to do will pop into my head. It's so easy to get distracted, and pumping (at least until the initial let-down) is something you have to kind of concentrate on. So I set up the iPod to get my work email. That way, I'll know what's going on, and what I'll have waiting for me when I'm done.

But even that didn't quell the GUILT. So I set up the phone so that I could answer it while pumping. Weird, yeah... but I don't think the pump is THAT loud, and if it is audible through the phone, I doubt anyone would know what they're hearing anyway.

And STILL, a couple weeks go, he came down the hall and stood outside the door... "Sara, come see me when you're done, ok?"

For cryin out loud.

And THEN: On his way out the door the other day, he asks if I could shorten my trips to the back office. The best I could do was "I'll try." Really dude... there's no way for me to make it squirt out faster. Trust me, I would if I could. I don't ENJOY being hooked up to this think like Bessie every day.

Anyway, the overall point of this nonsense is that I'm sad. Very sad, and mourning the loss of a day's worth of milk. I go through a lot to get it, and I'm also afraid that because of this my freezer "stash" is now gone. Wiped out. There was one?

This makes me want to cry all over again. I worked SO HARD for that! And now it's GONE! I wanted so badly to use that milk to think his cereal, to mix it with his first foods... and it's gone. I have no backup.

So I don't know where we'll go from here, but it's not going to be like I thought it would. Mix the cereal with water? Start mixing some formula in with my breastmilk for his bottles at daycare?

Eh, who knows, but long as I have my boys with me, I know it'll work out.

The clock on the wall says 5:15, time to go home. Tomorrow's another day, which to me just means that the struggle to get through today is over... and here's hoping that tomorrow's battle is just a little easier.

The One Where I Almost Dropped the Baby

So, this weekend went well. We got a bit of the cleaning done... Nick dusted and vaccuumed, and I did laundry and started organizing the paperwork. Sunday night as we settled in to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (OMG KISS) I started feeling guilty, thinking I could have done more. I mean, I had TWO WHOLE DAYS and this is all I got done??

But, baby steps. It's ridiculous for me to expect to get everything done in one weekend. Besides, we did leave the house... so it's not like I spent those two days on the couch, settled into my comfy butt dent, watching my sweet baby sleep. Well, I did do that, but not ALL weekend, which is the point. Balance. Baby steps. Small victories.

Moving on.

Anyway, one of the things we did outside of the house was go to Costco. Yay for wearing our grownup pants! Because bulk toilet paper & ground meat = grownups, right? Anyway, we now have our membership cards, complete with icky little black & white pictures.

So here's the real story: We get home from Costco, and Ollie's starting to fuss and make his hungry face.

I scoop him up out of the carseat and head toward the living room... probably munching on his cheeks or something. (As many times as I've replayed this in my head, I still don't exactly know what happened.)

I turn the corner to go from the dining room into the living room, not realizing that the GATE to keep the dog off the couch is still in the doorway. I fall forward, landing on my knees on the gate.
As I'm trying to stand up, Nick rushes in, "OMG are you OK?!? " Oliver's crying, and I can't remember if he was crying before I fell. I'm crying.
"Are you OK??!?"
"I don't know. Take him. Is he OK?"
"He's OK."

I slowly get up off the floor and hobble back to the bedroom.
"Check his head... did I bonk him?"
"He's OK honey... you had your hand behind his head."
"I did?"

So I take my pants off, because I'm sure that my knees are bleeding. They are not, but the left one is pretty badly scraped and both are really lumpy and already turning purple.

I lay in bed, on my side, to feed him. He stops crying, starts eating. I'm stroking the back of his little head, feeling for lumps. I'm still crying, and replaying the whole thing over and over again in my head... Did his head hit the ground? Mommy FAIL.

Nick says that I was already starting to stand up when he came into the room. He says I had my hand behind his head. All I remember is BANG slam CRASH ouch WAHHH!

Ollie starts to doze off and I start thinking what if he has a concussion? Isn't that when I'm not supposed to let him fall asleep or he will slip into a coma? Needless to say, we spent about an hour laying in bed, until I was sure he was OK and felt like getting up.

So, yes. There's my big update for the week. That's the plan, anyway, at least once a week until I'm all caught up. But I'm slow at work today, so I'll probably work on a few. Y'all may get lucky next week

This Blog Sucks

And here's why:

I am such an awful procrastinator. I have all these wonderful blog posts rattling around in my head, but I can't post them. Why? Because I'm behind in my blogging. Doesn't make sense, does it? See: I can't post about what happened the other day while pumping at work, because I haven't posted Ollie's 2 month pictures (or 3 months either, hell).

Working titles of the posts half formulated in my head:

• Pumping the boobs - tips and tricks, awkward moments at work, and the pressure of building a freezer stash
• 100 reasons why I love my son's dad
• I think I like my job!
• How does she DO that? a.k.a. Krista's "I'm not dealing with that shit" life
• OH the drama of my car
• Oliver's first Christmas (CRAP!)
• A hard habit to break  
• Baby, you can have whatever you like

And I have a few videos! I want to edit the videos and post them because he gives such great smiles and lives to play with his daddy and he smiles at the pictures on his nursery walls! Oh and he loves his mobile so much! The world needs to see these things but I put it off and put it off because I don't have time at work to really put the thought into it, and at home I get so distracted wanting to spend every waking second just looking at him.

So here's the real problem: it's gone from "eh, I'll get to it this weekend" to "oh crap I am so far behind I'll never catch up, so screw it."
But I can't do that because I love writing and from what my family and friends say I'm good at it and they enjoy reading it. So I have to fix this. It may be a jumbled mess around here for a while, but I can't just give up (the way I have apparently given up scrapbooking *sob*) because I feel like if I don't keep up with some kind of chronicle of his life then I'll forget all the little moments that are just SO special... the same ones that keep me rushing home from work to be no more than inches away from him all evening.

But it's not just the blog. I haven't balanced the checkbook in two months. Yeah, the bills get paid (with the exception of the water bill because the stupid computer doesn't remind me and my lovely spiral bound calendar of when things are due is long buried - oops.) I hate knowing there are piles of papers, envelopes and receipts waiting to consume me.
I can't get organized because I'm SO unorganized. I still need to file our taxes, but if course how am I supposed to do that when there are bills to be organized and the computer room is in shambles?

I had to wear Nick's socks to work the other day for cryin' out loud! Would I rather stress myself out and run late in the morning than do a freaking load of laundry on a weeknight? Answer: no. But you can't tell from the state of my closet/hamper/laundry room!
And don't get me started on the dog hair, the inch of dust, the icky toilet, the coffee stained kitchen floor. The only reason the dishes ever get done is Nick the Amazing cleans the kitchen
before Ollie gets a bath!

In short, I feel like I'm failing at this whole working mom thing. I have no routine. I'm LAZY. There are so many women who get it right and I feel like I'm not one of them... but I could be.

Which brings me to my POINT du jour... what I realized the other night while laying in bed nursing him to sleep... if I just DO THE SHIT that's been bugging me and giving me that nagging feeling in the back of my brain every night, then my time spent with him will be that much BETTER!

I recalled this post from No Ordinary Rollercoaster (thanks Ben - no you don't know me but I lurk and intend to comment often) which I will paraphrase:
"The other day I had an epiphany... "DUDE. DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN ACTUALLY JUST DO STUFF AND THEN IT STOPS STRESSING YOU OUT?!?!?!"

What I wouldn't give to be stress-free, without this awful feeling that I'm being naughty by putting off the "important" household tasks that need attention. Dishes and laundry and vaccuuming are stupid, yes. But if I would just DO IT, then I could actually move on to more entertaining tasks like blogging, and packing up all the adorable tiny outfits that Oliver no longer fits into because OH MY God he is getting to be such a big boy with the holding his head up all the time and the SMILES...

... there I go again.

I just want to let my shoulders relax and enjoy being a mom. So I will. THIS WEEKEND. STARTING RIGHT NOW.

I will no longer be a lazy sack of crap. I will not let my OWN life overwhelm me anymore.

This blog will no longer suck.

99 days left!

That is a VERY SHORT time considering that the countdown starts at 266!

Things I still have left to do:

1. Childbirth classes/breastfeeding class/infant care class.
2. Figure out some sort of clothes storage system. Do we refinish great grandma's dresser? Just use the cube thing from Target? Both? Neither and buy one?
3. Buy craploads more diapers. Also, my plan is to have a couple of those neat all in one velcro/snap fancy pants cloth diapers around just in case we run out in the middle of the night. I'm so stinkin' smart.
4. Clean everything. I know it's "nesting" and seriously, I don't care. He's going to be crawling around on THOSE FLOORS? GAH!
5. Name this kid.
6. Must Pass Glucose Test On Monday. (I am reminded of this by the 3 snack packs and small handful of Hershey's miniatures I ate today.)
7. Smack the next person who says, "Are you eating again?" The UPS man just did this, for reals.
8. Attempt to buy a dress for a late September wedding when I will be fully at the end of my 7th month that could possibly be used again for something some day.
9. Eat more fiber.
10. Figure out daycare.
11. Find a pediatrician.
12. Find a list of the million other things I'm sure I have to do but just don't know what they are yet.

Oh, crap...

Thanks to this video I am now very glad that my pot pie craving has subsided. (For those too busy/cool/whatever to click the link, a NY Times reporter tests the cooking instructions on Banquet pot pies and finds it very difficult to heat them to the proper internal temperature.)

I mean, I would know if I (or the baby!) had already been affected by the salmonella, right?

::runs off to webMD::

Frick.

What are symptoms of salmonella infection?
Salmonella infection (salmonellosis) can cause diarrhea (which may be bloody), fever, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain. Symptoms typically start 12-72 hours after infection.

All of those symptoms can also be caused by PREGNANCY.

9 weeks

Sorry I didn't do a quiz for week 9. I was busy feeling seasick.

Here's the highlight:

Milestone: Baby is offically a fetus! No more embryo up in this bitch!

(Get it?)

Here's what's up.

At home: I felt really crappy and crampy after my “procedure” and I slept most of the day.
(Thanks Rachel, for describing it better than I could.)

The good news is that Doc said everything looked normal so that's one thing off my mind. Nick gave a sample… he took the day off with me to drive me home so we figured just get it all done in one day. We are still waiting on the results from that, but I am not too worried.

At work: Things have been pretty crazy. I got moved from the finance department to working the front desk for the whole company. I guess this is technically a promotion but for now it is only temporary. TEMPORARY.

The whole story is: there was a girl here that was pregnant and due May 1st. She ended up having her baby last week (2 months early!). So, this week coming up is the Big Show and now they are short handed and of course the company is not making as much money.

(What company is? Seriously, let me know... I need a new job!)

So they fired one guy that was working in finance and instead of firing me too they moved me here and the girl that was here is now training to do the new mom’s job. IF the new mom decides to come back to work after her maternity leave, I may or may not have a job, depending on how business is doing. BAD NEWS.

We are still going ahead with our kitchen project, I am expecting a check from a life insurance policy that I cancelled and we were going to use that money for the countertops and backsplash rather than using the Home Depot card because those are the really expensive parts and we didn’t want to finance that much. We used the credit card (before I found out about this mess) for the paint and bought a pantry cabinet that Nick and Dan already installed. (It looks great!)

I will post kitchen pics as soon as I bounce back.

I will just save that check for a rainy day (or 2 mortgage payments) but we are probably not going to Chicago because even if I do have a job in April I won’t have any vacation time until May.

Surprisingly upbeat.

Got the test results back from my wonderfully long-winded Dr. Man. All hormone levels met his approval... which is a very very good thing!

Although I haven't "started" my next "cycle" yet... I think I can pretty safely assume that this month will be a bust... I got a negative HPT this morning.

For Valentine's Day hubby and I are going to eat at Steak ~n~ Shake (it's our tradition... what?) then stopping by the drugstore to pick up some Ovulation Predictor Kits. Romantic as hell, right?!?

On a brighter note, I am pretty darned pleased with my own attitude. It feels good to be taking matters into my own hands... makes me feel like I may still have a little bit of control a clue what's going on here. I am kinda lovin' life right now. I don't know where this "look on the bright side" attitude is coming from but hell, I'm taking advantage of it! I'm going to go spend the rest of the day with my husband!

Optimism rules!!

Happy Valentine's Day!