Thursday, March 31, 2011

My favorite band: foofighters

This album comes out in two weeks... April 12th... I can't WAIT!

The first single: Rope

The hilarious video for White Limo: (yes, that IS Lemmy)

And just released, my favorite so far, Bridge Burning:

Click Play below to listen!

Now, if only they would annouce a tour date in Cleveland, I'd be a super happy girl!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

plotting my personality

So, everyone knows Netflix = Awesome. And ever since we quit cable we’ve been watching a lot of hulu and Netflix between 8 and 10 pm – after the boy goes to sleep and we have a few minutes to veg.

The last movie we got on DVD was Inception. It. Was. Fucking. Awesome. Seriously awesome. If you haven’t seen it, rent it or add it to your queue right now!

The other day I had a conversation with my friend Dan, who has seen Inception twice, and he mentioned that he thinks it’s just as good the second time because you'll catch things you didn't the first time, including some plot holes.

I told him that I already spotted a couple, because good movies like this that really get you thinking tend to stick around in my head for a while. Which is ironic, considering that “inception” refers to the concept of implanting an idea into someone else’s head – making them think it was their own idea.

Anyhow, here’s what I said: *spoiler alert*
If they were never supposed to go any "deeper" than that third dream, the one with all the snow and shit, how did they happen to have one of those sedative machines that let Cobb and the-girl-what’s-her-name-from-Juno go into limbo after their Target Guy when Mal killed him?
(Yes, I really notice little things like this. Tiny little things like hey! That guy’s hair is parted on the wrong side! And why is there no coffee spilled on his shirt?)

Dan’s example, which I think is also a good example of the difference between men and women:
In Dream One the driver takes the team off the bridge, they are falling towards the water. As such, in Dream Two the dreamers experience zero gravity (in the hotel). So, why don't the dreamers in Dream Three (snow fortress) experience zero gravity? Answer: because zero G looks awesome in a hotel. Zero G on a mountain top involves a lot of people floating off into space and dying.
I thought it had something to do with the fact that time stretches out in subsequent dreams, like they had 30 seconds in dream one, which gave them 20 minutes in dream two and then 2 hours in dream three... so the floaty effects are dampened.
Yah, you could say that. But I think they just goofed.
Right. So the difference is, boys see things in terms of action and special effects, and girls see them in terms of… basic facts and linear story lines. I don’t know, maybe I’m not a philosopher.

Anyhow, after that, I had a little revelation about myself. I don't like plot holes. So, if I find an adequate explanation, I stick with it. So my mind can rest. I’m the type of person who picks at hangnails and threads... plot holes unnerve me. *spoiler alert* I have absolutely refused to let any other possibility enter my mind: that damn top WAS WOBBLING at the end!

I don’t watch the news, because if I do, all the sad puppies and missing children of the world will visit my dreams. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and that is so true for me. My balance is easily thrown off by images, leaving me feeling haunted by their stories. Without even closing my eyes, I can still see the chubby face and pink jacket of the 4-month old baby girl who somehow survived the tsunami in Japan. I can almost feel the intense overwhelming pain her parents must have felt… and if this story had had an unhappy ending?

Emotionally Sensitive. I have trouble distancing myself from the rest of the world mentally. At least that's what that therapist said. Other people's hurt is my hurt.

But, it's not bad all the time... it works both ways. Other people's joy is my heart-pounding success. I am Jack’s medulla oblongata.

I get choked up when someone wins big on Wheel of Fortune. When Michael Scott proposed to Holly on the Office, I got a lump in my throat.

I tear up reading those stories about children and kitty-cats who love so purely, and who dial 911 and save the day. And the high school basketball towel boy who was happy to just be part of the team? And then they put him in the last game of the year? And he makes that half-court shot and the crowd goes wild and the team lifts him up on their skinny teenage shoulders? Yes, that noise you hear is in fact me, having a good ugly cry.

When I feel happy, I am unstoppable, on top of the world!* Like last Friday, I was looking forward to going out to dinner with my lovely husband, and that alone kept my mood lifted to just above where anything else could touch it… there was no getting me down.

So looking forward to our trip to Florida in three weeks, when I say I’m excited, you know I’m seriously freaking excited. The thought my babe and his grandparents will get to charge down the beach together and splash in the ocean? I am looking more forward to this trip than anything, at all, ever. The potential energy in the potential memories makes me unable to stop smiling.

And when I talk about how happy I am, how these guys make my life better than I could have imagined? You know that shit is the God’s-honest truth.

*Yes, I realize this makes me sound manic-depressive, but it’s not to that extreme… I don’t actually have huge mood swings. I’m just describing what goes on inside, and that I’m still learning about myself.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Five Years

We've been married for five years today.

It feels like a lifetime and yet it's gone by in the blink of an eye.

He's everything I ever wanted, and everything I never knew I needed.

I love you, Nick.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

spring 2011

I had to stop by here today to reflect on how far I've come in the last year.

I remember the begining of 2010 being very difficult. That whole winter was emotionally and physically taxing. Pumping at work, being so exhausted from long days, and just plain missing my little guy so much that I could hardly stand it. I think the dramatic drop from blissed-out new mom to over-tired working mom was too much for me. I felt... fragile.

It makes me tear up just thinking about how much I struggled. I wanted so badly to be the best mom that I focused solely on Oliver and shoved, hard, everything else into the background. It took a toll on my marriage, because I know I wasn't the best wife there for a while. There are a few times that Nick said "I just want my wife back..." and that statement never failed to make me feel bad, but also snapped me the hell out of whatever funk I was in and made me realize that in my haze of single-minded focus I was still missing out.

Not that there weren't happy times, because of course there were, and plenty of them, and I know I took advantage and played and took pictures and made memories but looking back, it was just... mostly gray.

Anyway, March 2010 was where I started to come out of it. I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Last spring, I learned a little better how to be present in my own life. I realized that the fun in weeknight bathtime was no less joyful than weekend afternoons. I'm not saying things are perfect now, but my equilibrium is evening out. Dare I say: I'm feeling balance. I am so darn happy. Seriously. And when I look at what we've been through, even though others might struggle with more or different challenges in parenting, I still feel triumphant. I deserve to be happy.

For once, I feel the need to mention my job. I'm enjoying it! It's at times exciting, fast paced and challenging... other times it's mundane tasks and meetings. It's always changing, and while the changes are always varying in my personal scope of ideal, it's never boring. My boss is a genuine and compassionate human being, and that alone is something I know I'm lucky to have, let alone an affordable insurance plan and a little vacation time.

This spring, there will be no stopping our little family. Nick and I are so looking forward to the next few months. We're in love with each other and our little man. It's going to be full of gardening, walks, playgrounds, and laughter. We've got a vacation planned - taking a trip to Florida (Ollie's first plane ride!) to visit the grandparents and the beach - and we're going to relax and enjoy each other.

And this little guy? What can I say? He's perfect, the light of my life, and the walking, talking definition of joy.

Friday, March 11, 2011

independence and favorites

So... what's he doing now?

Whatever it is he's doing it by himself!

Not that we're not, like, teaching him things... but some of these things he must have picked up by watching us or learning from the teachers and other kids at daycare. Anyway, here's the list!

I love that he has favorites. He doesn't (yet) have a "lovey", the one must-have security item that must be present at all naptimes and bonked-head-in-need-of-comfort times, hugs and kisses do just fine for now.

Dr. Seuss' ABCs always gets a smile. This was my favorite book as a child, apparently to the point where I had the book memorized! Oh, history really does repeat itself... I currently have the book memorized. :) The other night we were in the car on our way home from eating and he was just tired of sitting and started getting pissed... so I started rattling off rhymes and soon he was giggling.

Me: Big D... little d... What begins with D? Doughnuts and a duck-dog!
Oliver: D... D... D!
Me: Big R... little r... What begins with R? Rosy's red rhinocerous! R... r... R...
Oliver: Arrrrrr!

My dude loves Elmo. They have a chicken dance Elmo at daycare, and when you push his foot he sings... "Elmo wants to be a chicken, Elmo wants to be a duck... *quack quack quack!"

This morning he spied his Elmo hoodie in his dresser and pointed, saying "mo mo! MO MO!" So, guess what he's wearing today?

He loves his Roxie! We got him a big ball that he tosses around - he laughs so much when she jumps up to chase it. I can't wait to see him in the back yard together!

Lately if you say "Oliver, let's go change your diaper" he'll walk down the hall and wait for you at the door. Most of the time once you open the door he'll either take off toward the books in his closet or behind the rocking chair to play peek-a-boo. Still better than running away from a diaper change, though!

This walking down the hall trick will sometimes work for "Oliver, want to go nite nite?" Sometimes.

Other things he wants to do by himself:
  • Put on his socks, shoes and sometimes his pants
  • Take off his socks, shoes and pants
  • Run
  • Eat with silverware
Seriously, these days he'll eat almost anything as long as it's speared on the end of a fork. We didn't teach him this really, except by example, which is why it blows my mind that this is how he prefers to eat. At least he's not surviving on applesauce and peas any more! (That was so two weeks ago.) He's getting pretty good at spooning mashed potatoes too.

He's also started to develop a little bit of patience. A little. He will hand me his sippy cup when it's empty and most of the time actually not cry when I walk away, and wait for me to bring back some more milk.

Our son enjoys routine. Most days I get home from work, we eat dinner, then Nick goes to take a shower. Oliver and I read books and do all kinds of playing, but once Daddy comes out of the bathroom door it's "Da Dee!" and off he goes down the hall. We have been practicing having him walk holding one of our hands, and so he gets up, walks over to his dad, takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom. Like, "OK now you go here, and put on pajama pants, and then we pick things up like shoes and dog chew bones and bring them to mommy in the living room now, right? OK GO."

He's got a new tickle spot on his jawbone and is working on saying "Ollie" and "love you". Just plain killing me.


Saturday, March 5, 2011

First Haircut

He did not enjoy it, but it took me longer to get over the crying than it took him. Obviously.