Monday, March 18, 2013

the right direction

Last week I found out that one of Oliver's preschool teachers is pregnant.

Up until that point, apparently, that news would have instantly made me cry.

Don't get me wrong, it's still hard to hear about other people's pregnancies when I still feel like I should be in the middle of my own... the one we lost.

But that day, my gut reaction was to congratulate her, not immediately tear up and whimper "why not me?" Which is such a huge step for me.

So I don't know if 3 months is a long time or a short time or average, but that's how long it took me to accept my loss. To be able to think about it, talk about it, and most importantly, look ahead.

And to Jen: I'm sorry I missed these last three months celebrating with you. You've been so understanding and patient with me, and I can't wait to see you and hug you. And please, call me after that ultrasound appointment, I promise I'll be waiting by the phone!