Thursday thoughts. Parenting ponderings.

I was just thinking that it's ridiculous how our priorities in life flip as we get older.

When you're young? The only thing that matters is playing.

Toddlers, Preschoolers, Little kids... it's all about getting through the boring stuff to playtime. Recess is everyone's favorite subject!

As teens, it was hanging out with your friends, talking/texting/flirting, singing along to the radio... all playing.

Then as young adults: Everybody's working for the weekend... (what's up! showing my age!) Let's do some day drinking, play some videogames, or watch Legally Blonde for the 48th time.

Now, with a child, we still work toward the fun times... but adult fun (shut up) is different. Sometimes it's the family vacation we've been planning for. Sometimes it's just an hour to read. Most times (for me, anyway) it has to do with getting some time to just not THINK. Getting a pedicure, playing candy crush, reading a book on my Kindle like a damn grown up.

Anyway.

The other thing is sleep. I love sleep. My brother and I decided that if we started a band we'd call ourselves "Defenders of Sleep" because we've taken a lot of crap from people over our love (and ability) to sleep.

If I could sleep 15 hours a day, I'd be thrilled just to have the time, with no other responsibilities. But honestly, I don't know if I could physically sleep that much anymore. (I'd give it a try, though.) I never thought I'd say this, but since becoming a parent I just... wake up sooner. I don't "need" more than 9 hours of sleep and I don't just knock out cold until somebody yells at me anymore.

I'm obsessed with Oliver's sleep too. Not exactly in that way that all parents are, like just generally wishing for "more sleep". But I want him to go to sleep, and stay there... it's irrationally important to me that he gets ENOUGH sleep. So much so that I will give in to the threenager stalling tactics just so he will fall out sooner. Because the fact that I have to wake him up at 7 every morning is a killer mom guilt moment. Basically, my little precious angel snowflake should be able to sleep until the morning sun fairies gently kiss his eyelids awake.


*And also, I'm maybe jealous. If Nick wanted to help me to go to sleep, and would sit and pat my back and rub my hair? THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

calling for backup

You may or may not know what it's like to be the only person (couple) in a 50-mile radius that you really trust to care for your young child. Sure, there are some less-than-involved grandparents in the area, but they were unreliable. Sad but true. Yeah, I have friends, but they're all either hundreds of miles away, or it's my one friend with a child who is super busy every day of her life.

Things have gotten so much easier lately. It's been a long time since I really felt like I had real backup... probably since before Nick's mom got sick.

So not only did I get my mom back, my dear cousin Ashley and her kid-loving husband Brandon moved home too!

I couldn't be more excited. We have real, reliable babysitters. We go on dates. Like, twice in the past two months. Whoa. And just when I get to missing him I get text updates.

Even better: now I don't stress about what might (will) happen when we have our second child. I know I will have help.

I am feeling so lucky and blessed and content right now!

a video for a friend

Thank God for Heather, man. If not for her & Jack prompting, we might not have recorded this video.

Gone are the days where the best I could get him to say is "I only like milk. Mommy only likes coffee." Because, while true, it doesn't really capture everything he's into. Enjoy:

three and a half.

I love three and a half. It's like, he still a little bi-polar crazy person, with mood swings that put PMS to shame, but oh man he is so much fun.

Sometimes when he wakes up in the morning he's happy to see me. On days like this he will smile & tell me he slept well. Other days, he yells at me, demanding that I leave him alone. Oh, and fetch my milk, woman!

I let him pick his shirt: penguin or Toy Story? He giggles & smiles & laughs because, of course Toy Story!

Then he cries because his snow boots are too small. I tell him it's summer, his feet will get too hot anyway: this could either result in a meltdown or indifference to the fact that I am even in the room.

In the car, he cocks his little head to the side and looks at me in the rear view mirror saying, "Mommy! You forgot my gummy! SILLY Mommy!"

Thankfully we're still in the garage... so I obligingly run back in the house for the precious gummy vitamin.

We see a tractor. We listen to his current favorite song, "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel.

He goes to school and learns to write his name.

Self portrait, signed by the artist. 5/27/2013

On Tuesdays he has soccer class. He stretches big, listens well, and admires Coach James.


has big muscles

He comes home and tells me he has fast running feet.We practice in the backyard and he shows me all his new skills.

Bedtime can go either way, but he's generally a good listener even if he's a little wild. That time between 6:00 and 8:00 at night can be so draining... we're all tired from a long day, you know?

But when I wake up in the morning to find this:

I can't help but smile. I've forgotten that he smacked me in the face with his empty milk cup. I listen to his peaceful, even breathing for a minute. I hope this morning will be more silly than grumpy.

The good always outweighs the bad.

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the right direction

Last week I found out that one of Oliver's preschool teachers is pregnant.

Up until that point, apparently, that news would have instantly made me cry.

Don't get me wrong, it's still hard to hear about other people's pregnancies when I still feel like I should be in the middle of my own... the one we lost.

But that day, my gut reaction was to congratulate her, not immediately tear up and whimper "why not me?" Which is such a huge step for me.

So I don't know if 3 months is a long time or a short time or average, but that's how long it took me to accept my loss. To be able to think about it, talk about it, and most importantly, look ahead.


And to Jen: I'm sorry I missed these last three months celebrating with you. You've been so understanding and patient with me, and I can't wait to see you and hug you. And please, call me after that ultrasound appointment, I promise I'll be waiting by the phone!

We're dino-crazy.

This is Buddy. His favorite thing in the world is riding the Dinosaur Train.

So when we were in Washington DC this summer, at the end of our visit to the Natural History Museum, we told Oliver he could get a toy. We were all tired and he'd had such a long day and he had been so good... the boy deserved a reward. So I parked his stroller next to a souvenir stand and told him to pick out whatever he wanted. He picked a random three-pack of dinosaur toys. I think I actually tried to talk him out of them because they were from some show we'd never seen and I guess maybe I thought he'd be happier with some generic dinosaurs. I don't know.

Fast-forward to the trip home... we stopped at a Waffle House for dinner. (Scattered, smothered, covered and chunked - FYI) and another mom at the table next to us pointed out Oliver's toys to her son. Who then proceeded to tell us the names of the things and also what time periods they were from and some other random info. I smiled and nodded, talking to the mom, who told us her son had started out watching the dinosaur show and now he new everything about them. Cute, her son liked dinosaurs. They're a nice family.

So maybe a week later I came across Buddy there on the Netflix. What the hell, I thought. Better than another episode of Elmo's World, I thought.

I created a monster.

In the best way.

Confession: I love this show.

We know all the songs (and I have come thiiisclose to purchasing the soundtrack), we can identify theropods and pterosaurs and name their features, we have a running joke in our house about how Don likes to eat bugs, and Oliver was seriously bummed that he was not a stygimoloch.

He can recognize each episode by its Netflix thumbnail. We have yet to actually catch it on PBS, but now that there's new episodes I'm going to have to figure out the air times, because OMG new Dinosaur Train. I have 2 PBS Kids apps on my phone.

We're dino-crazy, and it's fun. We like it. It made for a really great birthday party.

Just ask Oliver about Dr. Scott... he'll tell you that's his friend, the paleontologist, who wants us to get outside, get into nature, and make our own discoveries.

a conversation on each side of sleep

(8:00 pm)

Mommy, are you my best friend?
Yeah... I'd love that buddy.
Just me and you, nobody else.

... well, what about Daddy?
Oh, yeah, Daddy too.
Me and you and Daddy are all best friends?
Yeah, and nobody else.

Oh, and my puppy.
And my toys and my house.
And our new truck.

Good night, baby. I love you.
I love you too, Mama.

***

(8:00 am)


Wake up time, Mommy and Daddy! I came to get you guys!

(Crap, he figured it out.)

Can you get me some milmy?
I want to watch Dinosaur Train!
Is it wake up time?
Can I have a smoothie for breakfast?
I hafta go get my Toy Storys.
I want some milmy.
Can you turn on a movie?
I don't hafta go potty!
Can you be awake now?



*milmy is his word for milk.