Sunday, February 28, 2010

And they called it... Puppy Love

Roxie is a smart dog. As most dogs do, she knew early on that "something was happening" with me while I was pregnant. After he came home, she pretty much ignored him, the way she does with Elvis, Nick's mom's chihuahua. My thought was that she didn't really get that this little guy would affect her life... she probably thought he was temporary.

She was used to seeing all of his stuff, and smelling baby smells (especially since we would sometimes powder her) but she had to investigate all the new stuff in the house now that it was in use.

We let her sniff him whenever she wanted, which wasn't often... but when she did we threw a Good Girl! Party. I kept looking for some indication that she was warming up to him, but didn't get any...

This reminds me of another Roxie::human relationship that took a while to reach its full potential... and now look at them.


 Then one day, out of nowhere, she decided to check him out. She sniffed at the milk on his cheek, then gave him his first "kiss".

Since then, they've shared a little playtime here and there...

So. Even though she still pees in his room every effing chance she gets, I think it's gonna work out just fine.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The One Where I Almost Dropped the Baby

So, this weekend went well. We got a bit of the cleaning done... Nick dusted and vaccuumed, and I did laundry and started organizing the paperwork. Sunday night as we settled in to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (OMG KISS) I started feeling guilty, thinking I could have done more. I mean, I had TWO WHOLE DAYS and this is all I got done??

But, baby steps. It's ridiculous for me to expect to get everything done in one weekend. Besides, we did leave the house... so it's not like I spent those two days on the couch, settled into my comfy butt dent, watching my sweet baby sleep. Well, I did do that, but not ALL weekend, which is the point. Balance. Baby steps. Small victories.

Moving on.

Anyway, one of the things we did outside of the house was go to Costco. Yay for wearing our grownup pants! Because bulk toilet paper & ground meat = grownups, right? Anyway, we now have our membership cards, complete with icky little black & white pictures.

So here's the real story: We get home from Costco, and Ollie's starting to fuss and make his hungry face.

I scoop him up out of the carseat and head toward the living room... probably munching on his cheeks or something. (As many times as I've replayed this in my head, I still don't exactly know what happened.)

I turn the corner to go from the dining room into the living room, not realizing that the GATE to keep the dog off the couch is still in the doorway. I fall forward, landing on my knees on the gate.
As I'm trying to stand up, Nick rushes in, "OMG are you OK?!? " Oliver's crying, and I can't remember if he was crying before I fell. I'm crying.
"Are you OK??!?"
"I don't know. Take him. Is he OK?"
"He's OK."

I slowly get up off the floor and hobble back to the bedroom.
"Check his head... did I bonk him?"
"He's OK honey... you had your hand behind his head."
"I did?"

So I take my pants off, because I'm sure that my knees are bleeding. They are not, but the left one is pretty badly scraped and both are really lumpy and already turning purple.

I lay in bed, on my side, to feed him. He stops crying, starts eating. I'm stroking the back of his little head, feeling for lumps. I'm still crying, and replaying the whole thing over and over again in my head... Did his head hit the ground? Mommy FAIL.

Nick says that I was already starting to stand up when he came into the room. He says I had my hand behind his head. All I remember is BANG slam CRASH ouch WAHHH!

Ollie starts to doze off and I start thinking what if he has a concussion? Isn't that when I'm not supposed to let him fall asleep or he will slip into a coma? Needless to say, we spent about an hour laying in bed, until I was sure he was OK and felt like getting up.

So, yes. There's my big update for the week. That's the plan, anyway, at least once a week until I'm all caught up. But I'm slow at work today, so I'll probably work on a few. Y'all may get lucky next week

Friday, February 19, 2010

This Blog Sucks

And here's why:

I am such an awful procrastinator. I have all these wonderful blog posts rattling around in my head, but I can't post them. Why? Because I'm behind in my blogging. Doesn't make sense, does it? See: I can't post about what happened the other day while pumping at work, because I haven't posted Ollie's 2 month pictures (or 3 months either, hell).

Working titles of the posts half formulated in my head:
  • Pumping the boobs - tips and tricks, awkward moments at work, and the pressure of building a freezer stash
  • 100 reasons why I love my son's dad
  • I think I like my job!
  • How does she DO that? a.k.a. Krista's "I'm not dealing with that shit" life
  • OH the drama of my car
  • Oliver's first Christmas (CRAP!)
  • A hard habit to break  
  • Baby, you can have whatever you like
And I have a few videos! I want to edit the videos and post them because he gives such great smiles and lives to play with his daddy and he smiles at the pictures on his nursery walls! Oh and he loves his mobile so much! The world needs to see these things but I put it off and put it off because I don't have time at work to really put the thought into it, and at home I get so distracted wanting to spend every waking second just looking at him.

So here's the real problem: it's gone from "eh, I'll get to it this weekend" to "oh crap I am so far behind I'll never catch up, so screw it."
But I can't do that because I love writing and from what my family and friends say I'm good at it and they enjoy reading it. So I have to fix this. It may be a jumbled mess around here for a while, but I can't just give up (the way I have apparently given up scrapbooking *sob*) because I feel like if I don't keep up with some kind of chronicle of his life then I'll forget all the little moments that are just SO special... the same ones that keep me rushing home from work to be no more than inches away from him all evening.

But it's not just the blog. I haven't balanced the checkbook in two months. Yeah, the bills get paid (with the exception of the water bill because the stupid computer doesn't remind me and my lovely spiral bound calendar of when things are due is long buried - oops.) I hate knowing there are piles of papers, envelopes and receipts waiting to consume me.
I can't get organized because I'm SO unorganized. I still need to file our taxes, but if course how am I supposed to do that when there are bills to be organized and the computer room is in shambles?

I had to wear Nick's socks to work the other day for cryin' out loud! Would I rather stress myself out and run late in the morning than do a freaking load of laundry on a weeknight? Answer: no. But you can't tell from the state of my closet/hamper/laundry room!
And don't get me started on the dog hair, the inch of dust, the icky toilet, the coffee stained kitchen floor. The only reason the dishes ever get done is Nick the Amazing cleans the kitchen
before Ollie gets a bath!

In short, I feel like I'm failing at this whole working mom thing. I have no routine. I'm LAZY. There are so many women who get it right and I feel like I'm not one of them... but I could be.

Which brings me to my POINT du jour... what I realized the other night while laying in bed nursing him to sleep... if I just DO THE SHIT that's been bugging me and giving me that nagging feeling in the back of my brain every night, then my time spent with him will be that much BETTER!

I recalled this post from No Ordinary Rollercoaster (thanks Ben - no you don't know me but I lurk and intend to comment often) which I will paraphrase:

What I wouldn't give to be stress-free, without this awful feeling that I'm being naughty by putting off the "important" household tasks that need attention. Dishes and laundry and vaccuuming are stupid, yes. But if I would just DO IT, then I could actually move on to more entertaining tasks like blogging, and packing up all the adorable tiny outfits that Oliver no longer fits into because OH MY God he is getting to be such a big boy with the holding his head up all the time and the SMILES...

... there I go again.

I just want to let my shoulders relax and enjoy being a mom. So I will. THIS WEEKEND. STARTING RIGHT NOW.

I will no longer be a lazy sack of crap. I will not let my OWN life overwhelm me anymore.

This blog will no longer suck.