book review: WOOL

 

Wool Omnibus by Hugh Howey
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

One word: Awesome!

Edit: for this being one of my favorite books of all time, I sure didn’t spend a lot of time or effort on this review back in 2012.

So here in 2021 I will lay it all out. This book has everything.

You don’t have to love sci-fi to appreciate it, because there’s drama, romance and mystery here. Sci-fi readers will really enjoy the engineering and forethought of this dystopian society where most of the population is held to the barest level of technology.

And the reason why? Because the truth, at this point, seems to be more dangerous to mankind than the lies. Just like today’s world, those who spent years orchestrating every facet of life within these walls would see their vision threatened if the hierarchy was not maintained.

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book review: leaving time

Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It's hard to choose a "main" character here. I'm not entirely sure whose story this is, as it is told through alternating viewpoints. We mainly hear from the young girl Jenna, who is looking for her missing mother and Alice, Jenna's mother who's obsession and research on elephants guides her life. Jenna recruits psychic Serenity and PI Virgil, who are both drawn to and inspired by Jenna, to help her figure out if her mother is dead or alive, and where she might be.

It was a cool adventure trying to solve this mystery. There is a lot of detail given about elephants which was interesting, and I really liked the descriptions of how the Gift works for a medium... but I hated the ending. There's a point where you kind of realize that some assumptions you made throughout the entire book may not be correct, and it's not often that I get tricked like this, so I do give the author credit. But once you get past that tipping point it's a confusing rush to the end. That's all I'll say here, to avoid spoilers.

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book review: Wonder

Wonder by R.J. Palacio
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Another five star review for Wonder.

All the glowing reviews this book got: “I laughed, I cried, I cheered out loud!” Well, they were right on. Wonder is fantastic, from the message to the way the story is told by the different characters. It’s a perfect book that makes my mama heart so happy, and I can’t wait to share it with my kid.

“Sometimes people surprise us.”

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good mornings

A few months ago, I explained this gist of this article to Oliver. I told him that I'm going to make time to connect with him every morning, so that his brain can wake up peacefully. I asked him what he would like to do if we had a few minutes to spend together and he said, "play Legos."

The next morning I went in his room, flipped on the light, and gathered his clothes. I laid in his bed and asked Siri to set a timer for 5 minutes. We snuggled for a minute and then got up and played Legos until the alarm sounded. He liked what I built. :) It was freaking magical. He got dressed on his own and went downstairs. I didn't have to ask him more than once to get his shoes, jacket, backpack, etc. He told me twice that he liked connecting with me. He let the dog out. He poured his own milk.

I didn't expect this miracle to repeat itself daily, and honestly I haven't been the best at reserving a set amount of time with him, but it has made an impact. This school year has thrown some interesting challenges at us, and I really think that getting down on his level - literally and figuratively, can only help us navigate what we'll face in the years to come.

As the new year begins, I will continue to make time for his little soul. My favorite quote from the article says, "...fill your child’s cup before the day starts, and reconnect after the separation of the night." They're only this age once!

second grader

book review: The Girls

The Girls by Emma Cline
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There were parts of this story I really liked… things I could identify with. 14-year-old Evie was totally desperate for acceptance, to find a place she fit in. The perspective on her younger self from her older point of view was interesting, and being in my 30s there are a few things I would like to teach my past self. The internal narrative was well done here, describing all the tortures young girls put themselves through, trying so hard to figure out their place in the world. How is she supposed to act? Does she exist only as a reflection of those around her? What is attraction? Desire? Love?

But there were parts that fell very much flat. Her time with the cult felt forced and unrelatable. At first, I could see how Evie was drawn to Suzanne and her self-confidence, but the experimentation with drugs and sex were glossed over. If a young teen is so obsessed with relationships and her place at “the ranch” why weren’t these aspects analyzed a little more? Suzanne was the only one of “the girls” with any depth – the rest, including the cult leader, were like background noise to the inner workings of a self-centered narrator. Maybe my lack of familiarity with Charles Manson and the murders this story is based on is at fault here, but regardless, a book should tell its own story.

The rest of Evie’s life was underwhelming. There was no closure… life during and after boarding school are presented as an afterthought. It’s noted that her name is mentioned in some accounts, enough that her present-day visitors are aware of her involvement, but interactions with police and journalists are left assumed. As a whole, the present-day exchange could have been much more fulfilling. Evie didn’t grow or change, and her adult self still craves attention and sees how easy (or even rewarding) it is to please the boys.

Despite a three-star review, I would still recommend this to someone that enjoys historical fiction – for a one-person take on a cult atmosphere.

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book review: The Girl on the Train

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed how the pieces came together gradually... over time. We didn't get dumped right into the plot, it really felt like the story unfolded around Rachel, the (drunk) girl on the train as we discover things along with her. I liked the fact that this is told from the POV of three different women, and that despite being very different, they have something in common.

Another book where you have to be careful to read the date headings... much, if not all of Megan's side of the story is told months behind where Rachel and Anna are, with good reason of course.

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book review: Fates and Furies

Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

When I first finished, I felt like I wanted to cry. Not for any of the typical reasons, like not wanting to leave the characters behind, or even a powerful emotional conclusion. I was angry. I've been taken for a ride.

Part 1: Fates is Lotto's version of events, his life story and point of view through he and Mathilde's marriage. For all the raves touting the author's "stunning prose" I was mostly bored, and sometimes annoyed with him. All but one of his plays were uninteresting. There are only so many ways to describe someone who's born rich and through either sheer luck or charisma (questionable, given the multiple descriptions of his acne) manages to stay well taken care of despite his lack of knowledge in how the world works. We get it, she loved him in spite of his privilege and obliviousness. It says a lot when the most compelling thing about the guy is his need for constant adoration.

Part 2: Furies is Mathilde's side of the story. When I first started reading her voice I rejoiced! Maybe this book would save itself from exaggerated self-awareness. She was actually interesting in her own telling - Mathilde had a brain and a history you (Lotto) never knew! She wasn't likeable... neither of them were really, but she didn't have to be. She was sharp, with more under the surface and behind the scenes than you'd ever expect. Then things went wrong again. The timeline in the second half jumped around so badly! I can handle a flashback or two dozen flashbacks if they make sense, but Furies gave no warning and had no sense of order. In the end, this couple did few things right, which is probably realistic, but made this novel hard to embrace as a whole.

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probiotics + cranberry

I've never really been good at remembering vitamins... even prenatals! I've been trying to take better care of my health this year though, and a multivitamin and extra vitamin D have made it into the morning routine more than half the time - it's a start!

The timing of this review post worked out well... we just got back from vacation. If you're anything like me, vacations wreak havoc on the digestive system. I started taking these a week beforehand, and I didn't have any issues on the trip. The women's probiotic at 6 billion CFU plus cranberry for digestive health goes down easy in a daily capsule. **Results may vary from person to person. These products cannot be used to diagnose, treat, cure, mitigate or prevent any disease.

"25FREESHIP" gets you 25% off on all products at store.healthlabsnutra.com.

this is a post about tampons

I tried Lola tampons, and told some friends that I'd let them know how I liked them, so... here we go!


Packaging:

First of all, shipping was free! The packaging is great, just what you'd want for a subscription box of tampons: a plain brown box. The individual boxes themselves are plain white, with the word Lola on the side. That's it. No hot pink nonsense or pictures of women playing volleyball or whatever.

The Goods:

So, these are tampons. Not a whole lot to observe here, but there are some differences to point out between Lola and other major brands.

1. Lola tampons are 100% cotton. They feel like... cotton. Soft, and also a little fuzzy, with no "coating" them. In the interest of full disclosure, here's what's in Tampax: http://tampax.com/en-us/tips-and-advice/period-health/whats-in-a-tampax-tampon.

2. They're a little wider. Not longer thankfully, but bigger around. Enough that I noticed, but not uncomfortably so.

3. Plastic applicators. I personally prefer them to cardboard, but they're not exactly environmentally friendly here, so worth a mention. Also, they are pocket-friendly kind that you pull up to a click and then use as normal.


The Nitty Gritty:

1. When it's full, it's FULL. These are not the "braided" strings that provide a little backup. I don't know if it's just getting used to something new, or bad timing on my part, but it was a good thing I wore a pantyliner on my heaviest day. (UPDATE: this was totally just me getting used to them. No issues since.)

2. The lack of a coating (the "thin fabric around the absorbent core" on other tampons) does affect insertion and removal, but I didn't find it to be uncomfortable.

3. Absorbency seems to be on par with the major brands. I ordered 4 regular, 10 super, and 4 super+ in each box.


I wanted to try these because after having two kids, my periods are unpredictable... some months it's what I'd call "normal," and sometimes it's a mess and I'm an unprepared teenager all over again... so it's great to be able to customize each box to whatever you need. You get 18 to work with and each month can be a different mix if you want!

UPDATE: The absolute BEST part is that after three months my cramps are basically GONE. I wouldn't have believed that organic cotton would make that big of a difference, but I experienced it for myself! I still feel a little crampy, but nothing like the freaking giving-birth-contractions I used to get. I seriously couldn’t be happier!

Get $5 off your order when you use my sign up code spanza1 at https://goo.gl/KT223F New customers get 2 boxes for the price of 1, or 3 boxes for the price of 2. 

what I might do

I start and I stop. I dive in, head first, and then the enthusiasm fizzles and I wait for inspiration to strike again.

Let's fire this thing up again. Because, why not?

It's the natural ebb and flow of life, and as long as I don't lose focus on the important things: family, friends, job... I'm at peace with my stop and start, bumpy roller coaster ride of personal interests.

Wyatt came along, and I completely and totally immersed myself in the infancy of my last baby. The last couple years I have really focused on my family. We've settled into our new house as a family of 4 and I honestly couldn't be happier with where I am.

The one thing that's pretty consistent is my love of reading. Fits and spurts, yes... but that's OK. In 2015 I passed my Goodreads goal by reading 28/25 books. Proud of that. This year I set a goal of 36 books. I'm behind right now but what's new? :)

While I'm on the topic of goals: here's one last thing for today. I've done a lot of thinking lately, and I've formed some strong opinions as I've moved through my 30's. I've posted a lot more on Facebook lately than I have in a long time. I like Facebook for having conversations and being able to discover new things I have in common with old friends. But as the Presidential election gets closer I might become more guarded there... it seems that people are less likely than ever to consider opposing opinions, and I don't have the time or space to argue with a brick wall. I will continue to speak my mind and further the discussion on things that I think are important, though.

I've also been spending some time reviewing books (posted on Goodreads and Amazon), and reviewing other products I find through Tomoson and Influenster (posted all over the place). An active blog will help me expand that little side project.

What I definitely want to do is start writing longer-form stuff again. I miss sitting down and typing out a bunch of words, just letting my mind explore a topic. And, it's good practice for my future career goals.

See ya soon!

now 26 weeks pregnant. wait, what?

Maternity clothes: Dresses. The weather has finally warmed up enough (jinx!)

Stretch marks: Yeah, but who cares.

Sleep: I like

Best moment this week: While Nick & I were deciding on a crib and tweaking our Amazon baby registry, Oliver got interested in looking at the baby stuff. We went through some books he could read to the baby, and somehow we came across this gem, which he INSISTED that we buy.

meet Mr. Rattlehead Pirate Dog

Movement: Yes, sir.

Food cravings: Breakfast foods, cheese, and bread.

Gender: Boy!

What I miss: Hoooo boy. Being pregnant is not my jam.

What I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound. :)

What I have learned: Although we kind of have a history of making many life changes all at once, it's still stressful. Selling the house and growing a child at the same time is making me really, really tired.

Milestones: For the upcoming Memorial Day weekend, we will also be celebrating entering the third trimester. Wait, what?

I'm 19 weeks pregnant for the second time

Maternity clothes: Yeah, I kind of hate getting dressed right now. I have quite a few things that will work for spring... if spring ever comes. I'm mostly wearing leggings and Pajama Jeans.

Stretch marks: Present. I don't think they're getting worse, but it's hard to tell since the situation was pretty wrecked before.

Sleep: I am having SUPER WEIRD dreams lately. Like the kind where I wake up and have to convince myself that did not really happen. Some are just weird, like normal people in crazy situations, but some are straight up gross/scary.

Best moment this week: Not baby related... but Nick & I celebrated being married 8 years last week. I like him a whole lot.

Movement: Here and there. Seems like just this past weekend I started feeling a whole bunch of regular movements.

Food cravings: All things breakfast! This baby's official nickname is McMuffin.

Gender: I dunno yet, but we'll find out soon! Oliver is super excited to go to the ultrasound appointment with us!

What I miss: Beer.

What I am looking forward to: The ultrasound. I'm so excited to see my baby again!

What I have learned: Although we kind of have a history of making many life changes all at once, it's still stressful. Selling the house and growing a child at the same time is making me really, really tired.

Milestones: The movement, mostly. It's still like bubbles, or even popcorn popping... but I can for sure tell the difference between the baby and gas now.

street signs and books!

So this morning we're driving to daycare, and Oliver is telling me what all the street signs mean. There's the usual... STOP, Railroad Crossing, Speed Limit 35, etc.

Then he says "Oh! That sign says the Library is that way!" So I ask him if he wants to go to the library. He says, "nah... I'll do that when I get to college."

NO WAIT WHAT PARENTING FAIL

I may be overreacting here, but seriously? My kid's never been to a proper library?

Nick and I like reading and we also like devices. I have a Kindle, Nick has a Kindle, and Oliver even has that Tag Reader pen thing with like half a dozen books.

He also has a few favorite story books that we're getting super tired of reading over and over again. Why did I never think of taking him to the library and letting him borrow a few books and changing up the bedtime story rotation for free? Duh.

So we're going tomorrow and I'm stupid excited about it.




P.S. I'm on Goodreads, so my list of recent reads is there. I could have gone back in time and added in everything I've ever read, Harry Potter, Sweet Valley High, etc. but I didn't because lazy. I read a LOT of different genres, from YA to sci-fi to smut.

I'm doing their reading challenge for 2014... challenging myself to read 20 books this year. It doesn't seem like much of a challenge, but considering that I go in spurts of reading, 4 books in a row and then none for months... I'm aiming low.

the new and different things

Hi.

Wanna buy a house? We're selling the house (trying to at least), and looking for a new house with either an extra bedroom or a finished basement or both. Our current house is a ranch, which is great for old people and stuff but not so much for people that need storage or plan to have more than one child.

Because I'm pregnant ::confetti:: and a three bedroom with no basement is already not cutting it.

Yay baby! I'm 17 weeks along right now, and we're all very excited. Oliver insists it's a baby sister; I have no idea whatsoever. I do want to do some sort of pregnancy thing for this kid like I did with Ollie... at the very least because this will be my last pregnancy... so maybe I'll resurrect the quiz thing, that counts!

Speaking of which, 2 months later... how are the resolution/goals going?

Writing more has not really panned out. Obv. I have been reading more though, so I give myself half credit on that, since it involves my brain + words.

Right.

Let's see... I'm doing well with the water, and I'm pretty proud of myself for checking in with friends. I love my friends and it's easy to send a quick text or email and keep those connections strong. I'm also counting my mom time in here, because she's also important and good for me.

The money saving thing kinda went haywire because of the house, but I'm getting stuff in order. Including unsubscribing from a lot of tempting emails - even Zulily!

I have been kicking ass at work lately. I should have put "kick ass at work" instead of "be on time" and then I could be all YEAH, go me!

And I have been happily focusing on my marriage... especially since baby #2 is due in August and I'm prepared for the adding of another child to our family resulting in decreased QT with my husband. I've got something up my sleeve for our anniversary at the end of the month, so this is check plus.

So I'm happy, stressed, focused and hormonal. Life is grand. Till next time!

happy new year!

Here are my plans for 2014:

1. No fast food in January.
2. Write more, either here or elsewhere.
3. Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day.
4. Connect with a friend at least once a week.
5. Be kind to myself, relax and find joy in simple pleasures.
6. Save ahead for planned expenses like vacation, next Christmas, etc.
7. Refine my morning routine; be on time to work.
8. Cut out time-wasters. (Unsubscribe!)
9. Do one thing each day that will not need repeated.
10. Focus on my marriage. We are so, so worth it.

Just, NO.

There's a disgusting story in the news around my home town lately... involving rape that took place at a daycare. I can't even believe I just typed that sentence. A woman who worked as a daycare provider is accused of "engaging in sexual conduct with an unknown infant."

Normally I would cover my ears, scroll past news, and completely hide from a story involving anyone hurting a baby. My heart can't handle these types of mental images... I feel the pain of the parents as if it were my own.

But, for some reason, I didn't ignore the news this time. Maybe it was literally too close to home? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm sick over it.

Aside from the disgusting mental images my brain has had to process... the parents learned about this from the police and were asked to IDENTIFY THEIR CHILD IN THE VIDEO... and then the vile daycare ownership had the nerve to ask the parents to "keep it discreet."

Just... F no. No no no no no.

AND THEN. Apparently to just add insult to injury every news story online, be it Facebook or the local paper's website or whatever, there's some jackass that has to comment "Just watch your own kids, problem solved." or "This is why I never let anyone but my mom watch my babies." (Why do I torture myself by even reading the stupid comments?)

To them, I reply: F you. Get your stupid head out of your dumb ass.

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a fairytale land where everyone had that option? Whoever wants to stay home with their kids, they can! Both parents work? Well then grandma or somebody can watch them! Not some STRANGERS, right?

Wrong.

Ignorant. Self-righteous. Assholes. Some people are just terrible, awful humans and they could even be related to you. Reality check, moron: you really can't trust anyone. Unthinkable, but it's the truth.

You do your due diligence. Research, pray, go with your gut instinct, etc. and all of the above... but in the end, we really just put ourselves out there and hope for the best and God help us all because they're BABIES.

I'm sad. I'm scared. But yet I get up each day and take MY beloved son to daycare, where I know the teachers by their first names and I feel like they have his best interests at heart. Then I go to work, dig in, and wait to hear about his day. Every day, I hope it was a good day.

I do what I do because it's what I feel is best for my family, forever and ever, amen.

Thursday thoughts. Parenting ponderings.

I was just thinking that it's ridiculous how our priorities in life flip as we get older.

When you're young? The only thing that matters is playing.

Toddlers, Preschoolers, Little kids... it's all about getting through the boring stuff to playtime. Recess is everyone's favorite subject!

As teens, it was hanging out with your friends, talking/texting/flirting, singing along to the radio... all playing.

Then as young adults: Everybody's working for the weekend... (what's up! showing my age!) Let's do some day drinking, play some videogames, or watch Legally Blonde for the 48th time.

Now, with a child, we still work toward the fun times... but adult fun (shut up) is different. Sometimes it's the family vacation we've been planning for. Sometimes it's just an hour to read. Most times (for me, anyway) it has to do with getting some time to just not THINK. Getting a pedicure, playing candy crush, reading a book on my Kindle like a damn grown up.

Anyway.

The other thing is sleep. I love sleep. My brother and I decided that if we started a band we'd call ourselves "Defenders of Sleep" because we've taken a lot of crap from people over our love (and ability) to sleep.

If I could sleep 15 hours a day, I'd be thrilled just to have the time, with no other responsibilities. But honestly, I don't know if I could physically sleep that much anymore. (I'd give it a try, though.) I never thought I'd say this, but since becoming a parent I just... wake up sooner. I don't "need" more than 9 hours of sleep and I don't just knock out cold until somebody yells at me anymore.

I'm obsessed with Oliver's sleep too. Not exactly in that way that all parents are, like just generally wishing for "more sleep". But I want him to go to sleep, and stay there... it's irrationally important to me that he gets ENOUGH sleep. So much so that I will give in to the threenager stalling tactics just so he will fall out sooner. Because the fact that I have to wake him up at 7 every morning is a killer mom guilt moment. Basically, my little precious angel snowflake should be able to sleep until the morning sun fairies gently kiss his eyelids awake.


*And also, I'm maybe jealous. If Nick wanted to help me to go to sleep, and would sit and pat my back and rub my hair? THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

calling for backup

You may or may not know what it's like to be the only person (couple) in a 50-mile radius that you really trust to care for your young child. Sure, there are some less-than-involved grandparents in the area, but they were unreliable. Sad but true. Yeah, I have friends, but they're all either hundreds of miles away, or it's my one friend with a child who is super busy every day of her life.

Things have gotten so much easier lately. It's been a long time since I really felt like I had real backup... probably since before Nick's mom got sick.

So not only did I get my mom back, my dear cousin Ashley and her kid-loving husband Brandon moved home too!

I couldn't be more excited. We have real, reliable babysitters. We go on dates. Like, twice in the past two months. Whoa. And just when I get to missing him I get text updates.

Even better: now I don't stress about what might (will) happen when we have our second child. I know I will have help.

I am feeling so lucky and blessed and content right now!

a video for a friend

Thank God for Heather, man. If not for her & Jack prompting, we might not have recorded this video.

Gone are the days where the best I could get him to say is "I only like milk. Mommy only likes coffee." Because, while true, it doesn't really capture everything he's into. Enjoy:

three and a half.

I love three and a half. It's like, he still a little bi-polar crazy person, with mood swings that put PMS to shame, but oh man he is so much fun.

Sometimes when he wakes up in the morning he's happy to see me. On days like this he will smile & tell me he slept well. Other days, he yells at me, demanding that I leave him alone. Oh, and fetch my milk, woman!

I let him pick his shirt: penguin or Toy Story? He giggles & smiles & laughs because, of course Toy Story!

Then he cries because his snow boots are too small. I tell him it's summer, his feet will get too hot anyway: this could either result in a meltdown or indifference to the fact that I am even in the room.

In the car, he cocks his little head to the side and looks at me in the rear view mirror saying, "Mommy! You forgot my gummy! SILLY Mommy!"

Thankfully we're still in the garage... so I obligingly run back in the house for the precious gummy vitamin.

We see a tractor. We listen to his current favorite song, "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel.

He goes to school and learns to write his name.

Self portrait, signed by the artist. 5/27/2013

On Tuesdays he has soccer class. He stretches big, listens well, and admires Coach James.


has big muscles

He comes home and tells me he has fast running feet.We practice in the backyard and he shows me all his new skills.

Bedtime can go either way, but he's generally a good listener even if he's a little wild. That time between 6:00 and 8:00 at night can be so draining... we're all tired from a long day, you know?

But when I wake up in the morning to find this:

I can't help but smile. I've forgotten that he smacked me in the face with his empty milk cup. I listen to his peaceful, even breathing for a minute. I hope this morning will be more silly than grumpy.

The good always outweighs the bad.

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