Saturday, January 10, 2009

This is hard.

It's been 5 months (in two weeks it will be six) and I'm starting to develop real animosity toward everyone who has the things that I so desperatley want. My cousins, my friends, my coworkers, even random people on the internet who post their ultrasound pictures.

Today I read another blog by a girl who's been TTC for over 2 years. She said she feels the way I do about other people who have what she wants, but that also she realized "the grass is always greener". She probably has something that other people envy.

It feels kind of wrong to try and think of something that I have that other people would want, but it's so easy to see that my relationship with my husband must be that thing. I can't imagine that anyone would look at our marriage and not envy it. I could go on and on listing his admirable qualities, but the truth is it's only perfect for me. No one else needs to know... no. No one else would understand why these things are so important.

Anyway, what I really want is to make a baby with this amazing man. I want to share him with someone because I know he will be as wonderful a father as he is a husband.