Monday, August 29, 2011

I have this theory...

Crafted over the years with the help of some good friends.

Erasure Theory: When you have a bad experience, you can recreate the scene in an enjoyable setting, in order to erase the offending memory.

Example: Say you have a crappy time with someone (usually an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend) while drinking Captain Morgan's/bird watching/eating at McDonald's. Now, every time you drink Captain/see a bird/eat a Happy Meal, you think of this person and whatever unpleasant memory that has attached itself to this event.

In order to prevent this from happening again, make a point of slightly changing the situation to have a good time, thereby erasing the bad time. Drink Captain Morgan's with your best friend. Go out and sit in a park and watch birds on a bright, clear, sunny summer day. Eat at McDonald's with your Grandma.

Notable use: Friends, The One With The 'Cuffs:
Monica: You bet that I'd screw up? All that stuff about hiring me because I was good was...
Mrs. Geller: No no no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.

Phoebe: Just change what it means, you know. Go down there and prove your mother wrong. You finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that, "pulling a Monica."
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica!" Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica. Whew." Or someone hits a home run, the announcer says "Yeah, that one's outta here." 'Cause somethings don't change.
I think the most important part of this "theory" is to be mentally aware of the new situation. Be totally, purposefully in the new moment. You get to decide what means what to you. If you want to stop thinking about that bad thing that happened, or like me, if you tend to dwell on what could have or should have been... give yourself a do-over!

As my mom says, "The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now." Why wait?

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