got issues?

Here are my issues: September, 2010.

1.   I'm Cranky. With a capital C. I don't know what my problem is lately I've been missing Oliver. I mean, duh, you all know that. I'm sure at least part of it is a normal working mom thing, but I miss him terribly.


my angel


I've gone through all the logical excuses: PMS? Probably. I think. I'm not on the pill & forgot how to keep track other than with pills. Breastfeeding hormone swing? Possibly... as with everything else boob-related, I'm sure there's a mood-swing phase I have to go through while weaning, and it's officially been 3 full days since the last time Oliver nursed. I haz a big, big sad over this, but I can't dwell on it, because I can't see that doing any good for anybody.

I feel like I missed this big window of when staying home would have been "necessary" or "for the best" and now am starting to just feel selfish over the whole thing.

2.   I think I may have a body image problem. About two years ago, if you had asked me what my ideal weight goal would be, I'd have said 135 pounds. That's the weight I thought I should be... if I weighed that, I'd feel good about myself. Right now, I weigh 133 pounds. Yet when I look in the mirror I don't see any difference. I mean, yeah, my clothes were FALLING OFF (seriously, I needed some new pants because I tripped over them so many times.) I now have two pairs that fit & are acceptable for work that are size 6. I'm not bragging, just saying, because I still don't see that version of myself I thought I would.

I'm thinking maybe I don't see it because I didn't work for it. I mean, after I delivered Oliver, the weight just came off, and kept coming off. I couldn't eat much at the end of my pregnancy, and for a while after I forgot both how to eat and to eat period (I know this is common.) So I guess with my new eating style and the "extra" 500 calories burned per day producing breastmilk I just slimmed down somehow. People comment all the time on how skinny I am, but I guess the problem is that (most of the time) I just don't feel attractive.

3. I'm having trouble being motivated for more than one thing at a time. I'm planning Oliver's birthday party, making sure I spend QT with Nick, tackling debt, blogging, keeping up on the house, but it's like one thing per day. If I spend time thinking about the party, then I feel like I'm not giving Nick enough time & attention. If I spend a Saturday with my guys, just soaking in the family, I feel like I should have carved out some time to clean or pay bills. And blogging ALWAYS feels like a guilty pleasure, no matter how supportive my awesome husband is.

Wordless Wednesday: what's up, doc?

Post It Note Tuesday

 

 

Wordless Wednesday: happy guy

P.S. Happy 10 months, my love.

in which the WIN outweighs the FAIL, but only barely

I've been thinking more and more (last week was a MAJOR SUCK and this week was only slightly better) about quitting work, seeing my guy all the time, and working to get the finances in order. I've been entirely too LAZY about paying the bills (they're getting paid - no worries) like: I pay the electric bill approximately once a month. Due date, shmoo date, really, because the electric company doesn't charge late fees and it gets paid often enough that it's not going to get shut off or something. The other day I took about an hour and set up auto-pay on some stuff. So hey! I got something accomplished! WIN

We are refinancing the house. We got a pretty good rate, signed the initail paperwork, paid the fee (stupid), and we're now the appraiser's coming Tuesday. *fingers crossed* I'm not too worried about the house appraising for enough, since all those home value estimate websites have reassured me. WIN

I want to trade in my car. We don't need 2 SUVs, and we definitely don't need a car payment that's almost $500 a month. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. FAIL

At work today, I asked a caller "can I transfer you to his boyfriend? I mean, voicemail?" Oh, and I just called my friend's grandma a freak. Words: FAIL

In other non-name-calling news: I'm going to visit my BFF this weekend! Remember how I helped throw her baby shower a few months ago? Well, that baby boy is here, and we're road trippin' on down to sniff see that bundle of joy! Hooray for babies, friends and long weekends! WIN

The stupid fancy pants comments system on the blog has been all janky. I tried something new and shiny because I'm a geek and I was all oooh WIDGETS, and it failed. I'm trying to figure out how to uninstall the thing because now all the comments are missing and I'm just done. FAIL

But! I did add a couple pages up at the top and I think it's time for a new header soon. I moved all of my blog friends links to a separate page, Visit my Friends! so if you feel like surfin' start there! (OH! And while you're here, maybe vote for me on Picket Fence? kthxbai) I "designed" one of those buttons (hint: it's the FIRST one) and it was fun, so if anyone out there wants me to whip up something for you or if you'd like to see your link on that page, just let me know! WIN

Bathtime! (Wordless Wednesday for real this time)

baby transport: reviews

Here are all the different ways we've transported the baby boy around.

1: Peanut Shell sling 2: Moby wrap 3: Snugli carrier 4: Graco Alano stroller

1. The sling was the first carrier I bought, thinking it seemed easiest, being one piece with no buckles or tying involved. And at first, it was. Until he got to be more than like 10 pounds, then it was OUCH. My shoulder and back hurt within like 15 minutes. Now that he's almost 20 pounds, I can actually stick him in sideways sitting up and it's not so bad. I get a good hour before it starts to hurt. I throw this one in the diaper bag just to have on hand for situations where the stroller is not practical.

2. The Moby. Ahhh, the Moby. The internets are all abuzz with adoring fans of this wrap. I've read a couple blogs where the moms actually said it saved their sanity! A must have! So I got one.

Moby: Comfy, but also a PITA

For me, eh. Not so much. I mean, it's great when you get him in there, but it's a giant Pain In The Ass to tie. I thought I just needed practice, I mean, once I tied this thing up a few times it would get easier, right? Eh, I guess so. But it's just so MUCH fabric... like, you wrap it around your middle, cross in the back, and cross in the front and tie a knot. It makes this pouch for him to sit in, eventually. I do like it, it's really comfortable, but it's just not practical for my life. We used it to walk around the yard, but I can't imagine trying to do this in the grocery store parking lot, and when we're out and it's hot it seems like all the fabric makes us both sweatier than if I were to just carry him.

3. The Snugli carrier I got as a hand-me-down gift from my cousin. It's kind of intimidating with all the straps and buckles, but once you figure out what goes where (like, if you had the box or instructions or something) it's a cinch. This is the only one Nick will wear. We both like it, it's pretty easy to adjust from him to me, and it's pretty comfortable.

I think Ollie likes it, too.

In Case You Missed It or Didn't Click To Enlarge:

(lol)

OUTSIDE VOICE

4. Last but not least, the stroller. Pros: It handles easy, use with carseat, has diaperbag storage underneath, cupholders, reclines for when he's sleepy, sunshade with peek-a-boo window, baby snack tray (great for feeding on the go, cuz mall highchairs = ick). Cons: heavy, must have SUV because getting this thing out of a car trunk would be stupid, takes more than one hand to open & put kid in, I don't care what they say, not always practical (crowded areas, rough roads).

Really nice for when it's too hot out for "babywearing" or if you're going to be somewhere for a long time, or if you/your kid aren't into being all up in each other's grill. Or if you have to eat. Because seriously, Grabby McGrabberson will make you share your french fries if he's 5 inches from your face.

The NinjaPanza Verdict/Smackdown:

For summer: Stroller FTW

Other seasons: I'll use the Snugli & stroller for walks this fall, and probably buy a wagon for Halloween.
(Unless I win the lottery and can somehow afford an Ergo because those are dope.)